Saturday, November 13, 2004

bathroom confessions of a dirty mirror

in the attempt of avoiding feeling numb and flippant about life, i have been packing my days with major stimulants. no, this does not involve mind-altering substances outside of a triple shot latte; i am talking about shoving every bit of life's experiences in my day's pocket and allowing me to feel every emotion connected to those experiences.

"only you can prevent forest fires"...
is what phloe says to me to every time she thinks i need to be reminded to err in the side of caution. true, i take more chances now than i did before. my whole life, i have been tip-toeing on eggshells. i don't regret it at all. it allowed me to build a foundation that allows me to truly appreciate how unpredictable the pendulum of fortunata swings. every whirlwind romance, every action done with spontaniety, every confession made to unexpecting ears, every rebel yell thrown in every wall of silence brings spice to a life that wants to filter these emotions and place it somewhere in the name of art. the art of living? living art? dunno what i am saying but understanding the concept.

however, i dunno if it is because my element is earth, but i am been wanting some sort of stability. and this is a stability i yearn within myself. finding center so i can re-evolve/revolve/be a revolver at aiming to stop roaming aimlessly.

maybe i just need to regain footing.

or maybe it's just pms.

i get uncertain during times when i am hormonal.

never mind me...

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