Friday, November 25, 2005

oh, please don't let me be jaded. please don't let the price of wisdom blanket over the fire. let me feel inspired. let me rediscover. let me keep at it.

i was chillin' at my folks house and i found pics of myself. i was a much happier person. i am not depressed, nor chemically imbalanced. i believe that i was much more happier because i didn't know what struggle was. i didn't know what being hungry was. i live in a constant state of comfort.

but knowing what i know now, i want to live life outside of the comfort zone. there is so much more to gain if you have so much more to risk. but because of this, i am in a constant state of flux and this is the price of keeping my creativity and making dreams into reality.

but with any hardship, the battles toughen the skin. so much that you don't feel anymore. and i don't know if that means i am getting jaded in things. i remember living idealistically. i remember my dreams of utopia. but what does that mean when you mix the realistic factors in?

still figuring shit out, my friends. i guess i just miss smiling a whole heck of a lot.but know this, when i do smile, it means a lot more than it did before...

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