first and foremost::..
thank you all, for giving me your words... in all sincerety. thank you. it is so hard to keep maintaining. i am human and i have good days and i have bad days. my releasing my fears to the wind blew back something much sweeter than the smell of a field of magnolias... i am grounded again.

i will post throughout the day...

random thoughts for free::..

1. listen to AZIATIK RHYTHMS tonight (well, tomorrow morning) 1am-3am 90.7 KPFK after DIVINE FORCES.phloe will mainly host.kat will be there too.(she is helping produce the show.) faniks is doing a guest spot. i will be there as well. will i get on the mic.. maybe... you have to tune in to find out! lol

2. XPAC and CHYNA are ENGAGED??? WHAT??? (( ANY WWE fans out there? or is it just me?)))

3. the airconditioner broke in your office. HELP! it is sooo hot in here.. (sorry, had to vent.)

4. we are doing more scene work in my improv class. it is so much fun!

5. ok, so we are rolling three cars deep to AZ. got my family from hawaii flying in, my family from up north rolling down, and we are going to do this road trip to friggin' AZ!!! this should be very interesting because when you get my family together, you are bound to get some comedy... i should bring a video camera to document this. how many of you want to take bets on how quickly my mom will snap at me or my sister? lol... i get to see pops! woooo hoooooo!

6. bought more canvases. the art store has a 50% off the prices of their canvases and 40% off their brushes.. i went to town yesterday.

7. my play is collecting dust on my desktop. i hope my muse comes in and tap into my cerebrum that connects my vision to my vocabulary bank.

speak softly but carry a big stick::..

((( sigh ))) mi gente, i need your prayers. the whole family is going to arizona for my dad's court date. he may be coming home! but i can't get too excited because what if they just decided to be dicks and keep my father for the whole sentence. from what the lawyer said last year, he was going to have a few months of good behavior and it can be possible that he would be home by october. another false hope given by our half-ass lawyer. it is damn near december.
i just want him home by the holidays. i want him to be at home with mom, and anna, and allen, and the two funny dogs, and the psycho cat. i want to see him lounging on his favorite recliner. watching cable television from the philippines, with freddy the dog sleeping on his tummy. i want to hear him give me fatherly advice, talk smack about the men i date, tease me on how i cook. i miss all that. i want him not to worry about anything anymore.
this has been an emotional year for me, full of blessings and heartaches. for awhile, i felt numb- didn't give two cents about the world because mine was so unstable, i didn't want to invest energy on anything because i felt like my hearts in life are taken away. but thanks to friends, they kept me feeling. they kept reminding me of my warrior father spirit and that i didn't fall to far from the tree.
i know i should be extremely excited. i guess i am scared of the worst thing that can happen and that they won;t release my father. to make that drive only to come back empty-hearted would be close to devastating to me. i should not be afraid. this is why i write about it. i am a firm believer that if i say my fears, i release it to the wind, never to be responsible for it ever again..
today i will be wrapping all the presents i held for my pop. his birthday gift. his father's day gift. gifts i got from the places i have been to this year. the magazine in which my works have been published for the first time... we got a lot of catching up to do.
talking to dave, he still can't believe he was incarcirated for something petty. i agree. but i can't be stuck thinking that anymore. the impossible is possible so becareful, mi gente.

duhhhhh::..
i do insipid quizzes when i am bored at work...




I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

bubba dedicated this song to me

note* noooooooo, it is not like that!!!

if you happen to see God today, can you tell him that i miss him. can you tell him that i miss having long talks with him, having him tell me clearly as to what he expects out of me. tell him that i will promise to sit still long enough so that he can even whisper in my ear.

tell him that i really appreciate all the things that he has done for me and that truly i am am grateful.

tell him that i know he is chiseling me to the higher being he calls me to be but can you ask him how long the shaping takes. or that if i can have just a little time to breathe? being hit with objects both sharp and blunt can hurt sometimes, even when i think i am numb to it all.

and can you ask him, that if he has any miracles laying around that he is not using. i don't need a new one. just a little one. can you ask him to hand it over to me so that i may heal? i want my cheeks to hurt because i smile too much; not because i got too much sun.

but tell him.. and this is important.. that no matter what happens, that i still love him. and that i always will... and that i know he reciprocates...

thanks

hello

so what's da what's da what's da scenario?:::..

place: at our jobs
on: instant messaging when we should be working
scenario: after chatting for 15 mins on why Iraq is not complying to UN resolutions, the brief history of how saddam hussein came to be dictator, how the US primary goal is to control the oil in iraq and how it is questioned that iran(and they haven't done shit!) would be next to be attacked once the iraq's regime is dismantled, the discussion ended as so...

me: oh well, let armageddon happen and have the earth reclaim herself
me: i will be happy to join with gaia
me: let everything die until the only thing left are cockroaches
me: then we can all be humanoid cocroaches
moonie: then i will be in hawaii
me: cool, then you would be a FLYING humanoid cockroach
moonie: cool, then i can save money on airline fares

"And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes."- Khalil Gibran.

a note from the CEO:::..


Recently, I have been notified of 3 or 4 separate incidents of our female employees being verbally abused by an individual outside of the building, either on the corner; or across the street at the convenience store; and even at the bus stop. I would like to make each and everyone of you aware of this so when you leave the building, you can be extra alert.



If you do become the target of this abuse, please report the incident immediately, noting the day and time of the occurrence, and your best description of the individual.



Thank you and be safe,



"home is where i am safe":::..
last saturday, my friend, A's, girlfriend was assaulted in their own home. she was home alone and thought A had come home early from out running errands. S went up and hug him in the bedroom, only to find out it was an intruder. he asked for a condom and she said "no". he asked for a blow job and she refused. he reached out and grabbed her breast and that was when the phone rang. he freaked out and ran out that door, taking $40 and dropping a laptop he was trying to take. S, gracious thanks for your divine ancestoral angels protecting you and i pray GOD can heal your heart. my heart goes out to you.

i know...
-3 women who were robbed by an armed assailant.

-4 women who were/are in abusive relationships

-9 women who were molested. 5 who had said something to authorities and NO RESOLUTION HAD BEEN MET.

-4 women who had rape attempted to them FROM SOMEBODY THEY KNOW.

-2 women who had been raped...

*note: these are all different women in my life.

did you know::...
that every two minutes, someone is being raped right now in the US?
and that 80% of rape is by someone that the victim knows?

i took a women's self defense seminar on saturday. the above information are my personal reasons why i decided to take this class (or any martial arts class, for that matter.) it is so important for women to know how to deal with these situations. not only how to fend off an attacker but how to mentally handle a traumatizing event like that. it is so important now, as alot of us are independant women, meaning we tend to run errands on our own, live by ourselves, handle our business by ourselves.

the class was very enlightening. it was very scary as well as many of the male volunteers assimilated attacks by cursing at us, pulling our hair and trying to manhandle us, even mounting us. yes, it sounds intense but if you can't handle it in a controlled enviroment then how would you fare in an actual event of an attack? i was always the first to volunteer only because i wanted to know how i can deal on my own. i particularly practiced with the heaviest man there (230 lb, 6ft.).

i can't stress how important it is for women to take a class like that. we need to learn to defend ourselves and be more mentally on point in dealing with these attackers. sadly, we need to teach our babies the same thing. we are living in a world that can show its ugly face in a blink of an eye. and if you survive an attack remember, bruises heal, cuts heal, but the heart and mind take longer to mend. let's be more prepared and be more aware...

peace...