Thursday, April 24, 2003


after rehearsal last night

i am so tired. i have so much to do and very little to no time in doing it. but i am seriously not complaining ( although i am maybe three panties away from going commando. i STILL have to do laundry. )

i am making it a point to enjoy what i am doing WHILE i am doing it. even if i get cramps from dancing too much, blisters from practicing escrima, insomnia headaches from lack of sleep, or caffeine withdrawals, i will enjoy them. i don' want to live my life in retrospect. i don't want to lay in bed after the fact and say "wow, that was cool." i want to go thru it all and say " THIS IS COOL!" no more looking back. i shall take reins on the NOW.

so we are on marathon rehearsal mode for the may 3rd show with zero 3 and i was born with 2 tongues. this is going to be an AWESOME show.awesome in the fact that i am doing a show with the very people that are close to my heart. we talk. we organize. we hold each other up. we are family. the past few months have been nothing short but magical. i have seen people grow artisically, even venturing to places they never thought of going. this is magic. this is beauty. and i have nothing but love for them because they have helped me grow as an artist and a friend. i love you, guys! you know who you are!

thought of the day: (AGAIN, THIS IS NOT ME! THIS IS A FRIEND! I DON'T HAVE A MAN!....yet):lets say you're in this relationship thats like a blown up balloon that wasn't tied up tight enough.. on the surface things are ok, but you know there's a leak somewhere.. in trying to find this leak, you have this habit of checking your lover's cell logs.. (despicable but necessary?) one day you realize there is a certain ex who happens to call.. you check it nearly everyday (behind your lovers back) and find that for the last week or so several calls are exchanged each day... but you yourself have very close relationships with your exes as well... so what do you do?

answers coming soon....

PorkJELLO: stop checkin the damn cell logs
PorkJELLO: that's friggen psycho right there

ozoenlacasa: be ashamed that you check the cell logs
ozoenlacasa: especially because you're in contact with your exes too

MajGoku2002: shouldnt have been snooping (as i should now but that was after the fact or having been otw to breaking up anyway), bite the bullet or give up the double standard....which is it gonna be?

RJesena: Jealousy is an avalanche that doesn't end until it hits the bottom of the mountain...

kawaiianme: I say, just speak out and be honest with your man about the calls and why the ex is calling. Then, let your man know that you too are close with your exes in a platonic (we hope) manner. Just letting each other know the your status with your exes should alleviate suspicions, especially in the girl's part!

kittie1527: talk about it straight up. be ready to take some shit for looking through his/her phone... but still stand up for yourself - you had suspicions.

arttransplant: I would be forthcoming and ask him if he talks to his ex. And then ask if he's still interested in her or if it's purely plutonic.
arttransplant: The truth never hurt. I caught my ex doing something similar
arttransplant: sometimes you have to put the smack down and call the other person on it.

kittie1527: don't go into it making any accusations. just calmly (even though i would be HOT) ask, so what's up?
kittie1527: "as your partner don't i have some right to know?"

sponsays: break up with the guy
sponsays: b/c if you're checking his cell phone calls then clearly you are not ready to be in a relationship at all
sponsays: if the relationship is to the point where you have to check your man's phone, then why are you together?

KillerCapoeira: Trust your lover, but not their exes!
KillerCapoeira: Exes tend to feel a sense of entitlement to a person simply due to their number in line. That can cause them to tread where they are not welcome wihout a second thought.
KillerCapoeira: A contientous ex should put forth an effort to engague their exes current partner whenever it is possible (even if it's fake, it's polite) and not hide their actions.
KillerCapoeira: I am now very wary of exes and the like, but at the same time appreciate the maturity of someone who can keep from burning their bridges even after a drastic disturbance in a relationship.


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