when it comes to painting, i gotta hurt in some way. and i HATE that about myself. but i can't paint when i am happy. if you are talking about designing/organizing/producing, then i gotta be in a "i don't give a shit" state of mind. which is also a part i don't like about myself cuz then i am a bit more focused.. kinda like a laser and if i am not careful, i can unintentionally hurt someone by being less compassionate. it's the part of me that wants to get shit done.