i am watching channel seven. the disney movie is on right now. i have one question.... what the fack is whoopie goldberg doing in the medivial times???????
listening: prodigy="firestater"
feenin': strawberries and honey
wearing: "ispeak english" pink shirt, army pants, and cowri anklet
wanting: to be able to fly a private plane
needing: to hold on to a purpose
loving: the fact my friends are here to cushion my fall though i continue to climb
in a more positive note, i finally got in touch with kkarma today. so good to hear from her. she was showing me ultrasounds of her daughter, sakura. i have no words to describe the feeling of peace i got from seeing her precious face. a miracle. God's gift to us saying that He still believes in us. the pics are so clear! she even shows attributes of her mommy. ( notice sakura already pumpin' her fist! "viva la revolucion! es la solucion! )
kkarma has an awesome soul. been giving me positive support thru some of my toughest times. the attribute i most admire her about is the fact that she does not take ish from anybody. she is strong like that. but to her friends, she is very compassionate. thanks, sis!
ok, great. i am feeling kinda maternal now. jonah calls me yemaya, orisha of the ocean, mother. he also says i can be an oshun but definitely a yemaya. everybody says i would be a good mother. i think so. i entertained the thought of being a single mother. what if i dont find a husband by 35? should i ask some of my closest guy friends to father a child for me. then i snapped out of it. how selfish is that? to bring in a life because i wanted to, for my own needs. what would i tell my son/daughter when he/she asks "why is daddy not your husband? why am concieved?" ... "well, because mommy got the ally mcbeal syndrome of wanting a career but also wanting to validate my being a woman by using my womb."
i am not worried anymore. i do want a child and i do want a husband but i am not going to force that to happen. if it happens it happens. all i know is that i will have to continue living and learning from my life. i am really happy of where i am going and where i am heading. i will have to deal with these maternal feelings by either taking my friend's kids out or cooking for my bacheleor guys dinner! aight brian, caine, carlo, and jedi! come over for dinner. just make sure to bring me plum wine for me and beer for you guys! oh and bring some ps2 games as well!!!! hahahhahha
No comments:
Post a Comment