Friday, February 21, 2003

life just happens too fast
had a talk to my kuya (big brother) the other day. he says i do too much. that my recent slump is my body's way of resisting the added stress. he told me that i needed to go away and recoop and that he is opening his home to me to do that. i love that man. and i do. i want to get away and curl up in fetal position and just sleep. i want to reawaken with a sound body and mind. i have been doing that every morning and night, meditating and quieting the jibber jabbering in my head that i call prayer. sometimes,i hear answers and basically, they are telling me to wait.

lis told me that i should delve into why "he" is there in my life and what the reason is. its funny how things just come full circle and that beyond the hurt and the pain, you are on higher ground. and it is funny how God has a way of pushing EVERYTHING aside in order to make me face certain situations so that i may have resolution and finally, closure.

my ex and i have been talking lately. it is odd. it doesnt hurt anymore when i talk to him. i don't get defensive when we speak. we laugh more and he shows a genuine interests in all i do. not only that, he has been supportive in my endeavors, which really caught me off guard. i had my guard up for a bit but seeing that he is sincere, i took the chance and i trusted him again.

so you know what this means, i can't villify him anymore. i forgave him and i am healed. the best part is that i can move on, and i am fully aware of this.

great. so now what am i going to write and paint about? hahahaha

No comments: