Saturday, February 28, 2004
HAPPY LYRICS BORNDAY, WENDELL!!!
today is wendell's, aka asceticfish. (( looking at clock)) actually it was yesterday. it's now 1am right now and he is at the kpfk radio station. [side note: pleeeeease support this station. they are an independent station dedicated in bringing you progressive news and wonderful music used to deconstructing the programmed mind that mainstream media have been doing to our culture. learn truths about the world without the propagandas.]
we spent the evening with a group meditation. aligning chakras communally allows us to feel safe. the support is there. the vibrations with other beings are their. the sounds of the crystal bowls, resonating thru the room and into our seven ( and even eighth ) chakra was nurturing. much love.
we then broke bread (actually naan) and feasted on a buffet of vegetarian food. wen brought indian food from our favorite indian restaurant, east indian grill on la brea. i have to learn how to cook more vegetarian food. i can easily go back to being a vegetarian.
-----------------
earlier, ver came over and kicked it. i decided to not run my usual three miles today and to just work as much as i can in the morning so i can kick it with my homegirl. she and i are both full time artists and we are mostly stuck at home working our own schedules. (side note: it's funny. i can actually go for houuuuuurs not talking because nobody is home and i am not in an office to interact with people.) being able to interact with someone OUTSIDE the gym was nice for once.
we had sushi mac. damn. my favorite sushi place. why? CUZ EVERYTHING WAS $2.50!!! that is why.
then we went to the farmers market on 3rd. its so much nicer with no tourists pushing you around. sometimes, i hate los angeles and hollywood in the weekends.
i also treated myself to a watch!
go here to purchase. shoot i ain't hatin'.
we talked about life. boys. art. more art. food. food. food. then art.
we decided we are going to kick each others asses and motivate each other as much as we inspire each other. thanks ver!
check out her work here!
this is my favorite piece of hers but the picture does no justice. you should see it in person.
today is wendell's, aka asceticfish. (( looking at clock)) actually it was yesterday. it's now 1am right now and he is at the kpfk radio station. [side note: pleeeeease support this station. they are an independent station dedicated in bringing you progressive news and wonderful music used to deconstructing the programmed mind that mainstream media have been doing to our culture. learn truths about the world without the propagandas.]
we spent the evening with a group meditation. aligning chakras communally allows us to feel safe. the support is there. the vibrations with other beings are their. the sounds of the crystal bowls, resonating thru the room and into our seven ( and even eighth ) chakra was nurturing. much love.
we then broke bread (actually naan) and feasted on a buffet of vegetarian food. wen brought indian food from our favorite indian restaurant, east indian grill on la brea. i have to learn how to cook more vegetarian food. i can easily go back to being a vegetarian.
-----------------
earlier, ver came over and kicked it. i decided to not run my usual three miles today and to just work as much as i can in the morning so i can kick it with my homegirl. she and i are both full time artists and we are mostly stuck at home working our own schedules. (side note: it's funny. i can actually go for houuuuuurs not talking because nobody is home and i am not in an office to interact with people.) being able to interact with someone OUTSIDE the gym was nice for once.
we had sushi mac. damn. my favorite sushi place. why? CUZ EVERYTHING WAS $2.50!!! that is why.
then we went to the farmers market on 3rd. its so much nicer with no tourists pushing you around. sometimes, i hate los angeles and hollywood in the weekends.
i also treated myself to a watch!
go here to purchase. shoot i ain't hatin'.
we talked about life. boys. art. more art. food. food. food. then art.
we decided we are going to kick each others asses and motivate each other as much as we inspire each other. thanks ver!
check out her work here!
this is my favorite piece of hers but the picture does no justice. you should see it in person.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
sigh
vanessa and i went to see van hunt at amoeba's today. yes, check him out. talented musician, romantic neo soul/funk love songs with wonderful soulful singing and a fine ass brother man. he's dope!
------------------------
[listening] morcheeba.the big calm and the rain hitting the window pane
[burning] vanilla candles and super hit incense
[buzzing] off of some coffee from jan's on beverly blvd
[thinking] of the one who actually wants to know what i am feeling
had a deep conversation with b last night. we always have deep conversations but they are normally of social or political banter. no, last night, we talked about our feelings. our fears. our concerns.
its been awhile since both of us has been in a relationship. we both want to be responsible in this journey together. i normally like to process my workings first before i talk about them. he is different. he wants to be part of the process. i am not used to that.
it was hard opening up and spilling my business all over the table. it was scary. i cried. i thought i was strong enough to harness my emotional side and control my rational side. i was messy. he said human beings are messy and that is the beauty of it. there is room to move around, to take back what is said, to organize the melee within myself. he wanted me to trust him when i am vulnerable.
i have been on my own for so long, its tough to just close my eyes and dive in. but i know he got me. i just have to remind myself and center self so that fear doesn't keep me from something wonderful.
Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it's not always that clear
------------- morcheeba "fear and love"
(((( inhale ))) dive...
vanessa and i went to see van hunt at amoeba's today. yes, check him out. talented musician, romantic neo soul/funk love songs with wonderful soulful singing and a fine ass brother man. he's dope!
------------------------
[listening] morcheeba.the big calm and the rain hitting the window pane
[burning] vanilla candles and super hit incense
[buzzing] off of some coffee from jan's on beverly blvd
[thinking] of the one who actually wants to know what i am feeling
had a deep conversation with b last night. we always have deep conversations but they are normally of social or political banter. no, last night, we talked about our feelings. our fears. our concerns.
its been awhile since both of us has been in a relationship. we both want to be responsible in this journey together. i normally like to process my workings first before i talk about them. he is different. he wants to be part of the process. i am not used to that.
it was hard opening up and spilling my business all over the table. it was scary. i cried. i thought i was strong enough to harness my emotional side and control my rational side. i was messy. he said human beings are messy and that is the beauty of it. there is room to move around, to take back what is said, to organize the melee within myself. he wanted me to trust him when i am vulnerable.
i have been on my own for so long, its tough to just close my eyes and dive in. but i know he got me. i just have to remind myself and center self so that fear doesn't keep me from something wonderful.
Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it's not always that clear
------------- morcheeba "fear and love"
(((( inhale ))) dive...
from the pen of "i was born with two tongues'" marlon unas esguerra. thank you for reminding me.
THE POETRY OF REBOLUSYON
By Marlon Unas Esguerra
FOR MANY Filipino Americans who do not deny their “Filipinoness,” there is
that defining moment that makes them more than just a writer, more than just
a purveyor of Asian American literature, more than just a spectator. There
is that moment in college when you pick up Carlos Bulosan and read, “I know
in my heart I live in exile in America.” Someone hands you a thin book with
a picture of Bienvenido Santos on the cover (who looks like your Lolo) and
you say to yourself skeptically, “Scent of Apples? Yeah, whatever.” You come
upon Hagedorn, Roska, and Constantino as easily or randomly or magically as
you do a Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, or The Last Poets. Or better yet,
you hit that first open mic. There is a featured reading by a group of cats
(showing my age) who look just like you, wear their hearts on their
sloganized sleeves and have names like Kiwi, Faith, Balagtasan Collective,
Isangmahal, 8th Wonder, Feedback, re:Verse or Two Tongues.
There is that moment when you realize that this is all connected. That the
six degrees of separation among Filipinos is really just two degrees. That
in the end you do have a story to tell that is worth telling. Somewhere
between your identity politic and consciousness, your contradiction and
critical analysis is poetry.
In the summer of 1998, the National Filipino American Youth Association
(NFAYA) held its National Conference in an isolated Northwest suburb of
Chicago.
Twist: a feature performance by Isangmahal Arts Kollective. Their One Love
comprised of emcees, b-girls & b-boys, poets, singers, musicians,
performance artists, visual artists, activists in-training, future teachers
and social workers. All were under 25 years old. All were students or had
recently graduated. All were Filipino and Filipino American. It was
REBOLUSYON manifest, with all the unrelenting sincerity, audacity to dream,
and passion for art and community that would frighten their parents but
inspire a new generation. All this in the middle of Illinois Suburbia!
Twist: an open mic after their reading. A young poet Dennis Sangmin Kim and
I had found each other in the people of color, politically-charged open mic
scene in Chicago a year before. Our 14-minute duet/tirade at the open mic
forged a bond between Isangmahal and what would soon be (with Emily Chang
and Anida Yoeu Esguerra) the panAsian spoken word group, I Was Born with Two
Tongues. Several group poems, 300 miles, no sleep, another conference, and
twenty-four hours later, the two degrees set forth to rewrite the world.
What I’ve found in my process is simple. There is a continuity in community
that I cannot deny. There is a responsibility to my art that is
intrinsically political, anti-empire, and anti-assimilationist. I will
change the world with a pen. On my sleeve are the tools and in MAKIBAKA are
the two degrees massive: Hagedorn, Linmark, Galang, Carbo, Santos,
Isangmahal, Santilla, Freedom, Kiwi, Bindlestiff, Balagtasan, SIPA, Maganda
Mag, MaARTe, P.A.C.I.F.I.C.S., Blue Scholars, Mango Tribe and on.
I am not only a high school teacher because it pays the bills, nor do I
teach to fill my time while I pursue my aspirations as a young writer. I
strive to change the world with a pen and I feel my time as an artist is
contingent upon my accountability and responsibility to community. My
audience may be the world, but my work is congruent to those who have been
failed by the falsehood of the American Dream and American material
prosperity. My poetics include the story of my father, my neighborhood in
gentrification, a corrupt Chicago, a cowboy America. I start from a place
that I know, and that place does not deny my privilege nor my internalized
patriarchy.
THE POETRY OF REBOLUSYON
By Marlon Unas Esguerra
FOR MANY Filipino Americans who do not deny their “Filipinoness,” there is
that defining moment that makes them more than just a writer, more than just
a purveyor of Asian American literature, more than just a spectator. There
is that moment in college when you pick up Carlos Bulosan and read, “I know
in my heart I live in exile in America.” Someone hands you a thin book with
a picture of Bienvenido Santos on the cover (who looks like your Lolo) and
you say to yourself skeptically, “Scent of Apples? Yeah, whatever.” You come
upon Hagedorn, Roska, and Constantino as easily or randomly or magically as
you do a Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, or The Last Poets. Or better yet,
you hit that first open mic. There is a featured reading by a group of cats
(showing my age) who look just like you, wear their hearts on their
sloganized sleeves and have names like Kiwi, Faith, Balagtasan Collective,
Isangmahal, 8th Wonder, Feedback, re:Verse or Two Tongues.
There is that moment when you realize that this is all connected. That the
six degrees of separation among Filipinos is really just two degrees. That
in the end you do have a story to tell that is worth telling. Somewhere
between your identity politic and consciousness, your contradiction and
critical analysis is poetry.
In the summer of 1998, the National Filipino American Youth Association
(NFAYA) held its National Conference in an isolated Northwest suburb of
Chicago.
Twist: a feature performance by Isangmahal Arts Kollective. Their One Love
comprised of emcees, b-girls & b-boys, poets, singers, musicians,
performance artists, visual artists, activists in-training, future teachers
and social workers. All were under 25 years old. All were students or had
recently graduated. All were Filipino and Filipino American. It was
REBOLUSYON manifest, with all the unrelenting sincerity, audacity to dream,
and passion for art and community that would frighten their parents but
inspire a new generation. All this in the middle of Illinois Suburbia!
Twist: an open mic after their reading. A young poet Dennis Sangmin Kim and
I had found each other in the people of color, politically-charged open mic
scene in Chicago a year before. Our 14-minute duet/tirade at the open mic
forged a bond between Isangmahal and what would soon be (with Emily Chang
and Anida Yoeu Esguerra) the panAsian spoken word group, I Was Born with Two
Tongues. Several group poems, 300 miles, no sleep, another conference, and
twenty-four hours later, the two degrees set forth to rewrite the world.
What I’ve found in my process is simple. There is a continuity in community
that I cannot deny. There is a responsibility to my art that is
intrinsically political, anti-empire, and anti-assimilationist. I will
change the world with a pen. On my sleeve are the tools and in MAKIBAKA are
the two degrees massive: Hagedorn, Linmark, Galang, Carbo, Santos,
Isangmahal, Santilla, Freedom, Kiwi, Bindlestiff, Balagtasan, SIPA, Maganda
Mag, MaARTe, P.A.C.I.F.I.C.S., Blue Scholars, Mango Tribe and on.
I am not only a high school teacher because it pays the bills, nor do I
teach to fill my time while I pursue my aspirations as a young writer. I
strive to change the world with a pen and I feel my time as an artist is
contingent upon my accountability and responsibility to community. My
audience may be the world, but my work is congruent to those who have been
failed by the falsehood of the American Dream and American material
prosperity. My poetics include the story of my father, my neighborhood in
gentrification, a corrupt Chicago, a cowboy America. I start from a place
that I know, and that place does not deny my privilege nor my internalized
patriarchy.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
"no self respecting filipino would be on the atkin's diet. GIVE ME MY RICE!"--- phloe, my roommate.
you know this atkins diet is getting out of hand. (what's up with the carl's jr low carb six dollar burger??? so it's healthier without the bun? it doesn't matter that you have 2 grams of carbs yet its 37 grams of fat and 1270 mg of sodium!!!)
a friend of mine SWEARS by it. she said she lost 15 pounds from it. she did say she was tired of eating meat all day.
i don't know about eating steak and eggs all day. that is just crazy. i understand cutting down your starches, but what about just increasing your fruit and veggie intake, as well as exercising every day?
i think there will be alot of skinny fat people, meaning, they seem skinny looks wise but their body mass index shows that their fat is really high.
i think the reintroduction of the atkins diet must be a way to up sales from the recent bird flu and mad cow disease scare. ewwwww...
you know this atkins diet is getting out of hand. (what's up with the carl's jr low carb six dollar burger??? so it's healthier without the bun? it doesn't matter that you have 2 grams of carbs yet its 37 grams of fat and 1270 mg of sodium!!!)
a friend of mine SWEARS by it. she said she lost 15 pounds from it. she did say she was tired of eating meat all day.
i don't know about eating steak and eggs all day. that is just crazy. i understand cutting down your starches, but what about just increasing your fruit and veggie intake, as well as exercising every day?
i think there will be alot of skinny fat people, meaning, they seem skinny looks wise but their body mass index shows that their fat is really high.
i think the reintroduction of the atkins diet must be a way to up sales from the recent bird flu and mad cow disease scare. ewwwww...
Sunday, February 22, 2004
one day, i will post something meaningful. until then, here is a mindless survey
Body:
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Kissed your cousin: (this is insinuating something) yes, on the forehead or cheek when they were babies
2. Ran away: yeah, but not too far, apparently
3. Pictured your crush naked: (haha)
4. Skipped school: skipped class here and there
5. Broken someone's heart: yeah, but what goes around comes around
6. Been in love: yes
7. Cried when someone died: yes
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yeah. dude, who hasn't?
*9 What happened to 9?
10. Done something embarrasing: (haha)
11. Done a drug: duh?
12. Cried in school: yes. my kindergarden teacher locked me in a dark room. apparently, teachers had it easy in the 70's. they got away with doing things.
WHICH IS BETTER
13. Coke or Pepsi: water
14. Sprite or 7UP: cherry and coke surplees
15. Girls or Guys: we girls kick ass
16. Flowers or Candy: art and poetry
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: a scruffy clean shaven man
18. Blondes or Brunettes: black hair
19. Bitchy or Slutty: assertive
20. Tall or Short: venti if you drink at starfucks
21. Pants or Shorts: cargo or military pants
22. Night or Day: Night
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
23. What do you notice first: if their pupils are dilated
24. Last person you slow danced with: slow dance? man, that shit happened a long time ago. people my age don't slow dance.
25. Worst Question To Ask: so tell me about your ex?
THE LAST TIME YOU...
26. Showered: this morning
27. Stepped outside: an hour ago
28. Had Sex: should i answer this? sure... this morning
29. Romantic memory: about 45 mins ago
30. Your Good Luck Charm: my new tr9 adidas running shoes
31. Person You Hate Most: the one i didn't vote for
32. Best Thing That Has Happened: series of good things happen to me
33. On your desk: toys, a computer, a bunch of mail i have yet to go thru
34. Picture on your desktop: 80's arcade desktop by fontalicious
35. Color: brown and blu =)
36. Movie: amelie
37. Artist: me and my friends
38. Cars: motorcycles
39. Ice Cream: tofutti and mango mochi balls
40. Season: fall
41. Breakfast Food: fruit smoothies but i am hella lazy to make it every morning
WHO...
42. Makes you laugh the most: me
43. Makes you smile: blu
44. Can make you feel better no matter what: God
45. Has A Crush On You: not going to answer this
46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: no
47. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys?: dumb question. we all have indoctrinated gender roles we need to break
48. Gives you A Funny Feeling When You See Them: my doctor. he acts wierd when he has to see me nude like he is uncomfortable or something. that reminds me, i need to change doctors.
DO YOU EVER
49. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: nope
50. Save MSN conversations: when it involves business yes... or when someone pays me a dope ass compliment ... or some dope ass advice on life... or...
51. Save E-mails: yes
52. Forward secret E-mails:i dont think i ever got a secret e mail
53. Wish you were someone else: nope, grew out of that. saw past the self hate this society tried to put on me.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: only when i was younger and i had penis envy. who didnt want to sign your name on the pavement with your pee?
55. Wear perfume: not from the mall. i like oils better
56. Kiss: ((giggles)) yes
57. Cuddle: ((giggles)) yes
58. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: i work online. i live online.
HAVE YOU EVER
59. Fallen for your best friend?: nope
60. made out with JUST a friend?: umm...i think so. yes
61. Kissed two people in the same day?: wooo hooo, i think i saw that on "sex on the city" once... or was it elimiDATE?
63. Been rejected: Yes
64. Been in love?: Yes
65. Been in lust?: Yes
66. Used someone?: nooooooo
67. Been used?: i may have
68. Cheated on someone?: nooooooo
69. Been cheated on?: Yep
70. Been kissed?: Yes (( yawn)) how many questions are left?
71. Done something you regret? yes
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
72. You touched?: blu
73. You talked to?: miko
74. You hugged?: alison and dorian
75. you instant messaged?: kennedy
76. You kissed?: blu
77. You yelled at?:blu hahah jk
78. You thought about? ummmm...the last person i yelled at?
79. Who text messaged you?: jenus
80. Who broke your heart?: that was four years ago. it's been mended
81. Who told you they loved you?: God
DO YOU...
82. Color your hair? no
83. Have tattoos?: no
84. Have piercings?: sure
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yep
86. Own a webcam?: no
87. Own a thong?: yes
88. Ever get off the damn computer? to sleep or paint
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?: no
90. Habla espanol?: very little
91. Quack?: did you know there is a vibrator shaped as a rubber duckie? do i have your attention or did you get bored long time ago?
HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
92. Stolen anything?: i steal time
93. Smoke?: hookah?
94. Schizophrenic?: i dunno, am i? maybe? you think so? yea, sometimes
95. Obsessive?: compulsive?
96. Compulsive?: obsessive?
97. Obsessive compulsive?: isn't that what i said?
98. Panic?: sometimes..hahha
99. Anxiety?: attacks
100. Depressed?: don't listen to what the doctor diagnoses you with. they may be bullshitting you.
Body:
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Kissed your cousin: (this is insinuating something) yes, on the forehead or cheek when they were babies
2. Ran away: yeah, but not too far, apparently
3. Pictured your crush naked: (haha)
4. Skipped school: skipped class here and there
5. Broken someone's heart: yeah, but what goes around comes around
6. Been in love: yes
7. Cried when someone died: yes
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yeah. dude, who hasn't?
*9 What happened to 9?
10. Done something embarrasing: (haha)
11. Done a drug: duh?
12. Cried in school: yes. my kindergarden teacher locked me in a dark room. apparently, teachers had it easy in the 70's. they got away with doing things.
WHICH IS BETTER
13. Coke or Pepsi: water
14. Sprite or 7UP: cherry and coke surplees
15. Girls or Guys: we girls kick ass
16. Flowers or Candy: art and poetry
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: a scruffy clean shaven man
18. Blondes or Brunettes: black hair
19. Bitchy or Slutty: assertive
20. Tall or Short: venti if you drink at starfucks
21. Pants or Shorts: cargo or military pants
22. Night or Day: Night
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
23. What do you notice first: if their pupils are dilated
24. Last person you slow danced with: slow dance? man, that shit happened a long time ago. people my age don't slow dance.
25. Worst Question To Ask: so tell me about your ex?
THE LAST TIME YOU...
26. Showered: this morning
27. Stepped outside: an hour ago
28. Had Sex: should i answer this? sure... this morning
29. Romantic memory: about 45 mins ago
30. Your Good Luck Charm: my new tr9 adidas running shoes
31. Person You Hate Most: the one i didn't vote for
32. Best Thing That Has Happened: series of good things happen to me
33. On your desk: toys, a computer, a bunch of mail i have yet to go thru
34. Picture on your desktop: 80's arcade desktop by fontalicious
35. Color: brown and blu =)
36. Movie: amelie
37. Artist: me and my friends
38. Cars: motorcycles
39. Ice Cream: tofutti and mango mochi balls
40. Season: fall
41. Breakfast Food: fruit smoothies but i am hella lazy to make it every morning
WHO...
42. Makes you laugh the most: me
43. Makes you smile: blu
44. Can make you feel better no matter what: God
45. Has A Crush On You: not going to answer this
46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: no
47. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys?: dumb question. we all have indoctrinated gender roles we need to break
48. Gives you A Funny Feeling When You See Them: my doctor. he acts wierd when he has to see me nude like he is uncomfortable or something. that reminds me, i need to change doctors.
DO YOU EVER
49. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: nope
50. Save MSN conversations: when it involves business yes... or when someone pays me a dope ass compliment ... or some dope ass advice on life... or...
51. Save E-mails: yes
52. Forward secret E-mails:i dont think i ever got a secret e mail
53. Wish you were someone else: nope, grew out of that. saw past the self hate this society tried to put on me.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: only when i was younger and i had penis envy. who didnt want to sign your name on the pavement with your pee?
55. Wear perfume: not from the mall. i like oils better
56. Kiss: ((giggles)) yes
57. Cuddle: ((giggles)) yes
58. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: i work online. i live online.
HAVE YOU EVER
59. Fallen for your best friend?: nope
60. made out with JUST a friend?: umm...i think so. yes
61. Kissed two people in the same day?: wooo hooo, i think i saw that on "sex on the city" once... or was it elimiDATE?
63. Been rejected: Yes
64. Been in love?: Yes
65. Been in lust?: Yes
66. Used someone?: nooooooo
67. Been used?: i may have
68. Cheated on someone?: nooooooo
69. Been cheated on?: Yep
70. Been kissed?: Yes (( yawn)) how many questions are left?
71. Done something you regret? yes
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
72. You touched?: blu
73. You talked to?: miko
74. You hugged?: alison and dorian
75. you instant messaged?: kennedy
76. You kissed?: blu
77. You yelled at?:blu hahah jk
78. You thought about? ummmm...the last person i yelled at?
79. Who text messaged you?: jenus
80. Who broke your heart?: that was four years ago. it's been mended
81. Who told you they loved you?: God
DO YOU...
82. Color your hair? no
83. Have tattoos?: no
84. Have piercings?: sure
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yep
86. Own a webcam?: no
87. Own a thong?: yes
88. Ever get off the damn computer? to sleep or paint
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?: no
90. Habla espanol?: very little
91. Quack?: did you know there is a vibrator shaped as a rubber duckie? do i have your attention or did you get bored long time ago?
HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
92. Stolen anything?: i steal time
93. Smoke?: hookah?
94. Schizophrenic?: i dunno, am i? maybe? you think so? yea, sometimes
95. Obsessive?: compulsive?
96. Compulsive?: obsessive?
97. Obsessive compulsive?: isn't that what i said?
98. Panic?: sometimes..hahha
99. Anxiety?: attacks
100. Depressed?: don't listen to what the doctor diagnoses you with. they may be bullshitting you.
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