this sucks. half of my message from yesterday got cut off and blogger wont let me edit it! damn!
here is the completed entry:
i wonder how the world was thousands of years ago before we started raping the land. before nuclear energy; before petroleum-eating cars; before aerosol cans; before smog... i wonder how the air smelled. i wonder who the sun felt tickling my skin. i wonder which direction the wind was blowing and how water from the springs actually tasted like. i wonder what the land looked like at its raw beauty. like, did california have rolling valleys or was it mountainous? i was talking to dave and he feels that humans are basically parasites to living earth. earth does not benefit from us at all but we sure benefit from earth. we use and abuse all natural resources. we pollute the waters and the air. we thrash the land, ripping apart forests and jungles. we CHANGE the face of landscapes in grand scales. we have this manifest destiny complex where we just want to conquer everything! land, space, money, people... everything. afterall, isn't that how wars are started? we are working towards a global bank... one bank to control the finances of MILLIONS! sounds like a stronger leash put around our necks in forms of inserted micro chips. a planetary system... then we will soon go to other worlds and flex our manifest destiny penis to them and try to conquer them in forms of starbucks, mcdonald's, and pepsi.
until we find someone more superior than us and we get our asses whipped and we trade our slavery to credit cards and micro chips to slavery to some alien nation. time to replace the micro chip and bar codes to chains connected to jabba the hut...
okay, sounds far-fetched but shit, you never know!
Wednesday, July 17, 2002
friend: check your e-mail....saw something that would look too cute on you on e-bay.
friend: do you like it?
II am PMS grumpy: yea, it is cuuuuuuuute
friend: you should bid on it!
I am PMS grumpy: lol okie doke
friend: dude....i would not be at all surprised if you and don ambushed me in some cabin in the woods and trapped me to have an intervention...
friend: "deej...you need help."
friend: "the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem..."
friend: "but i'm just a social shopper.....i only shop on the weekends! i don't have a problem!!! Y'ALL HAVE THE PROBLEMS!!!"
I am PMS grumpy: ooooooooooooooh puuuuuuuuuhleeeeeeeeeze
I am PMS grumpy: social shoppers do not shop online ON THE CLOCK
friend: yes they do.
friend: hahahaha
friend: besides...i'm just browsing....surfing the net, if you will.
I am PMS grumpy: surfing my big toe
friend: finished all my projects for today...so blaaah
friend: lol
friend: HAHAHAHAHAHA
friend: and i'm not shopping for just myself...i'm looking out for my FRIENDS!!!!
I am PMS grumpy: face it
I am PMS grumpy: you like to shop
friend: yup yup!
friend: i'm currently in a bidding war right now...
I am PMS grumpy: YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION
friend: dem bitches can't have my strapless crochet dress!!!
friend: hahahaha
I am PMS grumpy: (( shaking head)))
friend: its called pms. i tend to get out of control around this time of the month.
friend: do you like it?
II am PMS grumpy: yea, it is cuuuuuuuute
friend: you should bid on it!
I am PMS grumpy: lol okie doke
friend: dude....i would not be at all surprised if you and don ambushed me in some cabin in the woods and trapped me to have an intervention...
friend: "deej...you need help."
friend: "the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem..."
friend: "but i'm just a social shopper.....i only shop on the weekends! i don't have a problem!!! Y'ALL HAVE THE PROBLEMS!!!"
I am PMS grumpy: ooooooooooooooh puuuuuuuuuhleeeeeeeeeze
I am PMS grumpy: social shoppers do not shop online ON THE CLOCK
friend: yes they do.
friend: hahahaha
friend: besides...i'm just browsing....surfing the net, if you will.
I am PMS grumpy: surfing my big toe
friend: finished all my projects for today...so blaaah
friend: lol
friend: HAHAHAHAHAHA
friend: and i'm not shopping for just myself...i'm looking out for my FRIENDS!!!!
I am PMS grumpy: face it
I am PMS grumpy: you like to shop
friend: yup yup!
friend: i'm currently in a bidding war right now...
I am PMS grumpy: YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION
friend: dem bitches can't have my strapless crochet dress!!!
friend: hahahaha
I am PMS grumpy: (( shaking head)))
friend: its called pms. i tend to get out of control around this time of the month.
Tuesday, July 16, 2002
“Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss.”
--Anon.
i read this quote this morning and it hit me hard. i never thought of it this way. normally, when you pass by an oppurtunity, you do so with a closed mind. kinda like leaving it and never looking back. i highly doubt it is a conscious decision either, never thinking "what if..."
but i also notice that we are more proned to mourn for a lost oppurtunity when someone we know and care about "takes" that lost oppurtunity. we start to think "that could have been me." throughout my studying to reach my higher spiritual self, i have learned never to do things for self-glorification. it is not an easy feat. after all, i am human. i am so for the success of others around me but i still need to step back and look at myself in third person.i question what i do at all times, making sure that i do it for the bigger picture, to uplift others. i never want to do something for praise (praise is so much more sweeter when you don't ask for it), for publicity, or for an ego stroke. if anything, giving of yourself to help others should be a humbling experience.
so, i asked myself certain questions the past few days and tried to answer it truthfully:
why do i write?
because i love it. that and also because i dont want certain emotions to rule me so i harness those feelings, encompass them in a poem or painting, and i release it.
why do i volunteer?
because it is a form of "loving thy neighbor". you get what you put out, they say. i choose to put out positivity.
why do express?
because i live
shout out to shasta, fhaizroc, sophia t., jedi , kkarma, kat, candice, joy, and shorty from the bay simply because i know they read my journal and they have expressed it. peace unto you...
--Anon.
i read this quote this morning and it hit me hard. i never thought of it this way. normally, when you pass by an oppurtunity, you do so with a closed mind. kinda like leaving it and never looking back. i highly doubt it is a conscious decision either, never thinking "what if..."
but i also notice that we are more proned to mourn for a lost oppurtunity when someone we know and care about "takes" that lost oppurtunity. we start to think "that could have been me." throughout my studying to reach my higher spiritual self, i have learned never to do things for self-glorification. it is not an easy feat. after all, i am human. i am so for the success of others around me but i still need to step back and look at myself in third person.i question what i do at all times, making sure that i do it for the bigger picture, to uplift others. i never want to do something for praise (praise is so much more sweeter when you don't ask for it), for publicity, or for an ego stroke. if anything, giving of yourself to help others should be a humbling experience.
so, i asked myself certain questions the past few days and tried to answer it truthfully:
why do i write?
because i love it. that and also because i dont want certain emotions to rule me so i harness those feelings, encompass them in a poem or painting, and i release it.
why do i volunteer?
because it is a form of "loving thy neighbor". you get what you put out, they say. i choose to put out positivity.
why do express?
because i live
shout out to shasta, fhaizroc, sophia t., jedi , kkarma, kat, candice, joy, and shorty from the bay simply because i know they read my journal and they have expressed it. peace unto you...
Monday, July 15, 2002
this is a true story that my friend, phil, gave me. it is tripping me out because my girl dj and i have been discussing about the little voice inside your head. we have been doing it so much that we are collaborating on a project together.( you'll see). if this is not an affirmation that we are going the right direction, i dunno what is...
heres a story for ya'll....on friday i had jury duty..a friend of mine - aleli - works in the county courthouse and i had planned on meeting her for lunch...i had called her a couple times during the day and finally one last time when my lunch break came around....after a no show...i shrugged it off and decided to eat my lunch at this pnoy spot in newark ave (jersey city)....in the beginning of the day as i sat and waited for my name to be called for a jury panel, i wondered to myself what my agenda was for the day...why was i there? who was i supposed to meet? what was i supposed to learn?...we all have one really - an agenda...sumthin we take/given to us from each day no matter how small or insignificant...i was really just trying to make the best of a boring day....anyway..back to lunch...i couldnt finish my food and kinda got full really fast so i had my left-overs wrapped up and decided to go home since I had another hour to kill.....i walked home....usually i stick to one route when i go home (down oakland and make a right on st pauls straight home)....not today..i walked by Fleet St. in my neighborhood and thought to myself "lets go this way today"...i crossed the street while i was on the phone with Christine and saw a man lying on the ground next to a delivery truck....at first i thought he was just looking under his truck for repairs and such....i noticed he was positioned awkwardly to be doing such a thing...i got closer and spoke up..."hey buddy u ok?"....he was heaving and having problems breathing...his truck door was open and he had fallen out probably in an attempt to get help...i immediately called 911 and relayed the info to an emergency operator...he was non responsive..unconscious..breathing but sporadically etc etc....he was picked up and brought to a hospital within 20 mins.....
moral?
we all have roles to fill everyday..no matter how small...sometimes it pays to listen to that little voice in your head to do something u would otherwise not do...we're all connected in some way dont forget that....=P
we are all connected, somehow...
heres a story for ya'll....on friday i had jury duty..a friend of mine - aleli - works in the county courthouse and i had planned on meeting her for lunch...i had called her a couple times during the day and finally one last time when my lunch break came around....after a no show...i shrugged it off and decided to eat my lunch at this pnoy spot in newark ave (jersey city)....in the beginning of the day as i sat and waited for my name to be called for a jury panel, i wondered to myself what my agenda was for the day...why was i there? who was i supposed to meet? what was i supposed to learn?...we all have one really - an agenda...sumthin we take/given to us from each day no matter how small or insignificant...i was really just trying to make the best of a boring day....anyway..back to lunch...i couldnt finish my food and kinda got full really fast so i had my left-overs wrapped up and decided to go home since I had another hour to kill.....i walked home....usually i stick to one route when i go home (down oakland and make a right on st pauls straight home)....not today..i walked by Fleet St. in my neighborhood and thought to myself "lets go this way today"...i crossed the street while i was on the phone with Christine and saw a man lying on the ground next to a delivery truck....at first i thought he was just looking under his truck for repairs and such....i noticed he was positioned awkwardly to be doing such a thing...i got closer and spoke up..."hey buddy u ok?"....he was heaving and having problems breathing...his truck door was open and he had fallen out probably in an attempt to get help...i immediately called 911 and relayed the info to an emergency operator...he was non responsive..unconscious..breathing but sporadically etc etc....he was picked up and brought to a hospital within 20 mins.....
moral?
we all have roles to fill everyday..no matter how small...sometimes it pays to listen to that little voice in your head to do something u would otherwise not do...we're all connected in some way dont forget that....=P
we are all connected, somehow...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)