Monday, December 30, 2002

blogs worth checking out::..

-walk with joy as she takes you on a journey on one of life's ultimate blessings, the making of her SOUL-dier

-and who can ever forget max, zoe's lil man? i remember meeting zoe when she was first pregnant!

-kkarmaandjen, COME BACK!!!!

now back to our regularly scheduled program...
i am contemplating on whether or not i should even make my new years resolutions.they tend to be cookie-cut promises that everybody tends to make; lose wieght, be nicer to people, conserve more energy, yadda yadda yadda.

one thing that i have learned this year is that i am always making assessments on my life on the monthly, on the weekly, on the daily. i don't rely on a yearly reflection on the eve of the new year because i might miss something. i might miss that small yet significant lesson back in april, or that quote some one sent me via email, or that word of encouragment given by a friend.

and life is dynamic. it is never the same. you roll with the punches when you are not throwing them. what resolutions you make on jan 2003 may not be relevant in sept.

so instead of making set goals like losing wieght or reading x amount of books or to cuss less, i will make promises to myself to better the quality of life:

1. i promise to meditate more. i pray so much that i ramble on and on and on that i forget to LISTEN to what God is telling me. sometimes, God will not slap me upside the head. sometimes He whispers and if i am not receptive enough, i will lose His message to me.

2. i promise to sleep more. the thoughts of an artist working late until the wee hours of the night, or a social butterfly being in every hip and happening spot, or the insomniac who takes that spontaneous drive to the beach where she can have conversations with the moon are taking a toll on me. it is one thing doing that every so often but to be doing that on the regular is really wearing my body down. i caught myself dozing in a business meeting. that woke my ass up (no pun intended) and i vow never to embarrass myself like that again ! hahaha

3.i promise to keep in touch with friends and family. i realize i don't have balance in my life. i realize that this past year, my best friend has been my work/art. i completely immersed myself in work because that is where i felt complete; i was providing for my family who needed me and it allowed me not to be vulnerable to anything attached to the heart. it was my therapy. but when things resolve itself to where now i can breathe, i realized that i didnt keep the bridges intact. for the most part, my friends understood and they stood by me, but i can understand where they are coming from. which leads me to my next two...

4. i promise to ask for help when i need it than to play hermit and think i can solve everything myself. that will take some time because i really don't like asking folks for help. i will allow peoplelto come into my life when it is hectic and let them hold me up til i have enough strength to stand on my own rather than keeping the door locked when they come knocking.

5.i promise not to work so much although it may be too late for that. i will allow myself to play once in awhile, to take naps even when it seems inconcievable, to pick up the phone to say "hello" and not to solidify a meeting.

6.i promise to freely love people with out worrying about the ramifications. i will allow myself to do nice things for others and not worry about what they might think afterwards. i know, this one sounds wierd but it is funny how people are so distrustful nowadays. i want to be the instrument of divine love and i will make the deeds speak its message. kinda like releasing it to the universe and let the wind take it where it needs to take it.

or like that late-night informercial for that routesserie- "set it and forget it" i shut up now...


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