my horoscope today...

Today's planetary energies

Passion is in the air, ALFIE, as is creativity. It's an interesting combination, don't you think? Just imagine the possibilities! Though in your state of mind, you probably already have! It's hard to get any work done with romance so much on your mind today. You'll have to satisfy your desire somehow. If you can't get together with your partner, then focus on fulfilling your creative urges. An afternoon spent painting or writing will help you feel mellower.


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so basically, it's saying i am horny and i need to paint.

yes, i know all this and like i said, it's funny how horoscopes tell you what happen after the fact.

passion is in the air. passion in so many levels and arenas. but with that passion comes this tinge of angst. because where there is pleasure, there is this impending cloud of pain.

but i find that alot of us are so damaged from the past that alot of us protect ourselves from the pain by avoiding pleasure. what for? keep ourselves in a bubble? a squeaky clean sterile life? bland. without color.

passion.

give me the butterflies. give me the "what ifs". give me the "close your eyes and jump". give me the "take my hand. trust me."

and shit, if i get hurt, oh fuckin well! i heal and i bounce back. and i will live again... and again.. and again.

i know what and who is worth the chance of heart break. i just need to live.

i took a break from painting to write this blog. i popped in anime after anime, burning nag champa, listening to "if". yes i am a WISTFUL ass right now but i don't care.

at least i am using my heart for something.



stop dedicating this song to me...


rocking chair
Yes I finally understand.
Yes it's finally sunken in.
All of the dreams in which I had will soon come down
As this day draws to an end.

I know that I've mistaken
And there's no where I can run
So the sun will lose it's meaning as it does.
As this day comes to a close.

But you cornered me, I couldn't breathe, so I reacted instinctively.
It puzzles me, hypocrisy infects each of us religiously.

I came revealed, I dropped my shield, just to be standing nakedly.
I shed my clothes, became exposed, attention fuels my delivery.
I felt alive, but then I died, when the hope of you finally left my mind.
So I withdrew from all I knew which places me here within my chair I watch.

I watch...
I watch...
I watch...
I watch...

The sun meet the horizon
And the truth say goodnight
My diary has been written it's all spelled out.
As this day goes to sleep.

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah... goodbye
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah...