caller id

we all have one. that one love that fucked you up soo badly that it completely changes you as a person. the one love that builds character in a person that preachers claim is the reason why life's tribulations beats the shit out of you. "you become a strong person. a piece of coal must go thru extreme pressure in order to become a diamond." it's the same love that fucks you up so badly, that if you are not careful, can turn you into a cold-hearted curmudgeon that is so cynical towards romance, nobody can ever plant seeds in your heart because you keep uprooting it cuz "you're scared" or "you're not ready" or you simply don't know what the fuck to do with it.

but luckily, that type of love only happens once.

cuz you vow never ever to go thru that shit again.

until that love's number pops in your caller id.

see, mine called at 6:29pm. in the green screen is his number. 818-388-0xx4.

and one normally goes thru the obligatory "omigod. he called." and "should i call back?" and "what does he want?"

not me. not this time. i saw the number and just allowed myself to go down memory lane. i remembered what i want, what i need. what i don't need. it lasted about 30 secs, upon which i put the phone back on the cradle and then turned to God and said "bless him. hope he is well."

besides. maybe he sat on his cell phone and it accidently called me. after all, my name does start with an "a".