sometimes the universe speaks thru you with barbed wire...

again, let me reiterate- i have stopped searching for signs long time ago. sometimes, you find your ego mind wanting to shape anything that "walks like a sign, looks like a sign, talks like a sign". often times, its alot like banging a square peg in a circular hole. bang bang bang... and if you are not careful or mindful, the banging becomes repetitive enough to the point where your mind finds it meditative, but instead, the rhythm keeps you from progressing.

so...

in my many retreats to moonlit beaches, where the crashing of waves centers me again, i found an epiphany..

by chainlinked fences topped with barbed wire, was tissue paper, flapping in the wind.

and what was once just viewed to wipe away spills and messes, was now a flag dancing in the wind. rustling as it mimics the sound of a thousand rustling leaves.

but then as i sat and looked, the edges started to fray. bits of paper started tearing off and run in the currents of the wind. within a few minutes, the paper disappeared, destroyed.

so, it came to me.

that if the barbed wire had the ability of letting go the paper would still be intact.

bare with me now...

because often times, i hold onto things that was meant to move with the wind. fragile things. and maybe holding on to it is the very act of destroying it.

now maybe it was the paper that held on. if the paper had the ability to let go, it would still be intact.

because often times, i stay in situations that i dont need to be in. i don't let go and i am left "fighting the air". maybe i don't want change. maybe i hold on to ideologies that are not meant for me and its destroying me and where i need to go.



let God, let love, let go. because as much control you have over your actions and decisions, you can't master things externally. and sometimes, you just gotta let things be, so that things are to develop how they most naturally would need to develop...



let God, let love, let go...

sometimes the universe speak thru the words of your friends...this morning, joe daddy was moved to send me this:

i'm wishing you the best of days,
come what may,
and i pray today displays
all you want, all you need,
and that you're not to scared to heed
the call of your destiny.....


every morning, as i sip my first cup of coffee, in the sound vibrations of the birds who live in my giant totoro tree, i read on a prayer flag, a gift from another dear friend...

the universe holds an abundance to what i need in my life...



and a text from another kindred soul not too long ago:

Sending a message for the universe: u have an infinite gift for life. You are one of my treasures. Have joy love & powerful spirit. I will always remind you this.



i gave up searching for signs long time ago. but some things are blatant. some you can't ignore. and really, all you can really do is be open to messages of faith, determination, and affirmation. its too easy to hear the criticism from others and in your head.

random acts of kindness... i probably should do more of that myself.



speaking of random acts of kindness...

remember the story of the old man at the farmers market who sat down next to me and talked to me about love and fear? i saw him again not too long ago. i said "hello" and he didn't remember me. and all i can do is smile. because whatever possessed him to speak in tongues wanted to have me hear that message, and that message was directed to me... and to any of you all who felt touched by the story. it was for you too!

Hey, san francisco and the rest of the yay area,

Thanks to Jenn Porecca of the Muse Cru, I have been asked to show my work at May's Sick and Loaded at the Hush Hush Lounge.

So, that means, I shall be in sf!

So, please come by if you are free. Or at least tell me what's going on in the weekend of May 20th.

And for all my analog friends in the bay area, PENCIL MY ASS IN YOUR SCHEDULES! I wanna see you! imma call and harass you.

(( curtsey-ing))

Love your guts,

Alfie


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