Friday, August 13, 2004

hello, bright eyes
people have asked about my art work, particularly with my use of huge ass eyes. it's like a signature. they asked,"what's up with the huge eyes in all your pieces?"

i can be lazy in my answer and say alot has to do with the influence of japanese pop culture. i grew up loving anime. and i mean looooooving anime. i remember when fellow college folks, fresh from their asian american 101 history classes, would confront me and say "hey, why do you dig manga? it's encouraging asians to be ashamed of their asian eyes and to embrace and strive for the more rounder, westernized eyes. that's bullshit."

hmmm... i don't think eyes as big as saucer plates covering half of your face is anything close to attractive. i mean, not unless you are an extraterretrial whose planet orbits in the farthest point from the sun from which you need big fuckin' eyes to see in a 10 foot radius from where you stand.

but there are something about eyes that intrigue me. eyes tell alot about what a person is feeling and thinking, despite of what comes out of his/her mouth. i have communicated to few people by eyes alone. i mean really communicated in which the other person would nod in acknowledgement and understanding. that right there is a powerful thing.

as a baby, my neighborhood in hawaii used to call me "bright eyes". i was the toddler with the biggest, roundest eyes, so they say. i was a shy kid. i didn't talk much and the only way my family would know what i was thinking are by my eyes.

so there you have it. my reason why i spend so much time on eyes. now if i can only spend more time on drawing hands. that shit is hard.

tangent thought from now on, when i cannot sleep, i am going to log onto the computer and blog. let's see what random shit i will talk about when insomnia occurs.

Thursday, August 12, 2004



before i shut off the computer and stumble back to my bed, let me extend a triple scoop super duper sized thank you to all who has extended themselves to me.

really, i am fine. it's this thing called process that hella hurts but is just as important as result. i am not prolonging any kind of transformation, or healing or revelation making any more. i am accepting how life how it is, with both the bad and the good. changes can be good. just flip the perspective.

let life come as it may. let me take it as it comes. i am ready for growth. i am ready for the next level.

oh, and my tip for the day:
tell people you love them. love freely. love unconditionally. key word- unconditionally. remember that as there is an alpha and an omega, there is a point of love and a point of fear. sometimes, love sponsors fear, and fear sponsors love. know the difference and then love don't gotta hurt anymore.

besides, life is short. life has no guarantees. no more games any more. i already won

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

" We can never see past the choices we don't understand."
----The Oracle, "Matrix: Reloaded"

Monday, August 09, 2004

it's been along time, thought i left you...
without a dope beat to step to.

anyways...

life has thrown a bunch of curve balls to me lately. and one actually clocked me in the head. i am actually trying to recover from it as we speak.

ever been in a situation where things seem so dismal that you start looking at your options and those options start making you consider compromising your views so you can at least gain footing?

don't worry. yours truly didn't sell her soul nor did she sell her body. she did consider looking for a cliff to jump off of.

i can already hear you all saying "oh alfie, life is not so bad."

true. it's not. it's just that. life.

but in order to live, one needs to breathe.

and that is what i need right now. time to breathe.