I Bleed Words Till I Am Read All Over: 07/11/2004

Friday, July 16, 2004

this is how i deal with a broken heart

i have been cool for awhile now. but i had to hold on the feelings just long enough to finish this painting. it was my way of letting him go. the alibata in the middle of the flames means "umakyat" which is a tribute to my mom's maiden name which is asuncion. but also, it means "to rise", which we all will be doing anyways... rising.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

see, i make a good wifey... not that i would mother you or lavish you unless i choose to

I am The Empress

The Empress can refer to any aspect of Motherhood. She can be an individual mother, but as a major arcana card, she also goes beyond the specifics of mothering to its essence - the creation of life and its sustenance through loving care and attention. The Empress can also represent lavish abundance of all kinds. She offers a cornucopia of delights, especially those of the senses - food, pleasure and beauty. She can suggest material reward, but only with the understanding that riches go with a generous and open spirit. The Empress asks you to embrace the principle of life and enjoy its bountiful goodness.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

aye, the dilema of being a graphic designer

so production for alice walker's cd has been pushed back one more day. so all this stressin' for my 4pm deadline has now passed.

and you know what i ate all damn day?

water and yogurt.

yep.

so i am hungry but not. you know how you are so hungry and you wait so long and now your stomach shrank. yea. and if you eat, your stomach will hurt.

had it not been for my new roommate mitzi getting me a chocolate croissant, i may have passed out.

so to decompressed from the stressful two project marathon, here are some random ass rants.

random ass thought #1: who ever invented the biore is a genius
phloe and i want to be biore agents. where we go around and biore all of our guy friend's nose. why? cuz i like it. i like pulling out little trees of oil and dirt from my friend's pores. those who do biore, don't lie. you like it too. i know you do. i know you invert that shit and then pet the forest. don't deny it!

random ass thought #2: creme brulees from trader joe's are hella dope:
so we all have our favorite things to do. i like petting biore forests and amelie likes cracking creme brulees with the back of her spoon. me, like eating them.

random ass thought #3: my libido, as of lately, is non-existant.
which actually helps me out a bit since i chose to take a break from sex. yes, i am celibate. actually, it also helps that there is no man in sight that tickles my fancy. besides, i can honestly say i am not looking for that. i actually want something wonderful.

random ass thought #4: kat and i want to go to new york.
hmm... new selection of men... hmm.. might break above statement. ((( slapping self ))...no! i have control.

random ass thought #5: looks like big brother is in full effect...
and on schedule...

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

dinner with ninotchka rosca

i had the honor to actually have a dinner conversation with ninotchka rosca- activist, journalist, novelist. for the past few weeks,i have been truly questioning about my progress in life as an artist, a struggling artist. from time to time, i toyed with the idea of finding a full time job and just blending in the masses again. there is nothing wrong in getting stability, but you definitely have less freedom in dealing with creating and producing events when you get back in the work force. i figure that i should take this oppurtunity to really try to see if i can make it in that world.

but there are times when i get shaken. and i see others around me get shaken.

until you hear from the words of a prolific pinay community figure. you hear her stories, you hear her rage. and you realize, you really haven't been thru so much struggles in comparison to others in the world.

and you get a second wind.

i have troubles and i have pure joy. this is what life is all about.

from blisfulness' blog:
"the degree of your struggle determines the degree of your liberation."

"we must learn not to be dependent on the idea that you need a job."

"i just want to be an ethical person. i don't care what anyone else does."

- paraphrased from a coffee/dinner with ninotchka rosca.

----------

oh and here are pics from phloe and my show. we were invited by joe to show some of our work at the the electric lodge, the place where he has his one man show. thanks, joe, for the oppurtunity. make sure you catch him in november when he brings the show back one more time.