[on the telly] texas justice
[on the cd player] india.arie- brown skin
[sustenance] tacos from the joint around the corner
[burning] desire? hahaha, cheesy

so looks like zero3 is heading to OREGON!!! here are some pics from the san francisco gig they did a couple of weeks back.



traci enjoying a chocolate croissant from the neighborhood bakery


from the view point of a plate of green curry chicken


edren being pensive before the show


traci doing a homeless performance piece in the window of the gallery


kennedy and kristina wong from bigbadchinesemama.com


getting the space ready


yaaaaaaay! carlo came out to play


carlo and a very tired version of me


doing "bukowski"


the host of the show introduced them as "three people she would like to sleep with"


edren, the price of guam


"sit on this"


traci's monologue


kennedy doing his "planets" piece



wooo hooo! it was a fun turn around trip (left thursday night, performed friday night, left saturday morning.) had great talks on the road about art, the passion of art, sacrafice, the future of arts in california, and beef jerky. yup, we had a talk about beef jerky.

yup

so since i have this thing about wondering what it is like to be a mommy...

but being not ready in life nor have the commitment:


I adopted a cute lil' clown fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

i think it is time to bury my fear of clowns and i adopted a clown fetus.

however... if the clown grows up to be an evil, silver-eyed, razor sharp teeth clown, bent on killing me, then...


I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
to protect me.

thanks to wen's cousin, vanessa for the link

gotta organize today

my room is a mess right now. i have clothes strewn on the floor. my blankets on the bed bunches up in clumps and i am so tired at night that i merely find the biggest clump and crawl underneath it to keep warm instead of making the bed and then going to sleep. i have makeup cases in any place where there is free room on the dresser. dresser drawers open, making it look like my underwear have a mind of its own, trying to free themselves. shoes on the floor that for some reason, like to trip me during my nightly walk to the bathroom.

this is the life of a self-employed, busy-as-all-heck single woman (single meaning "not married)

my house is a mess. i have art supplies in every room. i converted my dining room area into an art studio so i have no room to entertain people with dinner parties. i have nag champa ashes on bills that need to get paid. my fridge is crying- it's leaking water. and i have dishes to do with meals that i don't even remember making but it has to be mine cuz my roommates eat out. my office has piles of invoices and comps and pads of paper of multiple people i need to talk to.i have contracts in the printer, photos to be scanned, and an army of hello kitties from mickey dee's happy meals (that i bought because the meals were cheap) sitting on top of my monitor that cheer me on everyday.

this is the life of a self-employed, busy-as-all-heck single woman (single meaning "not married)

i wonder what life is like for my married friends. what is it like to wake up next to the same man every day. sharing the bathroom so that both of us are ready to start the day. i wonder what is like making sure your children are fed in the morning, rushing them around their room to get them to get ready for school.

i wonder what it is like to no longer be in that level of building with your man, and then stopping because now you two have to build your children and any growing you do with your partner is done indirectly by focusing the energy on your children and not each other.

i wonder how my friends keep their houses so clean. how they master the art of feng shui solely to childproof their home. i wonder how they get shit done when they children follow them around. it's amazing if you think about it.

i wonder if they miss hanging out sometimes. i wonder if they understand me still. cuz sometimes, i feel distant from them.

i wonder if i can still be the artist and have a child.i wonder how saul williams do it, esp everytime i see him perform, i see his daughter with him. what does she do while her daddy is onstage? i wonder if i have a husband that supports what i do. he can hold the child when i am on stage and afterwards, hands me my baby as she or he tells me i did a good job even though i said bad words.

i wonder if my child would think going to art shows and spoken word events are boring. what if they hate it? what if they want me to be more "grounded" and be an accountant? or a medical biller? or a banker? what if they wish i wore "mom" clothes.

i wonder if i get to experience all that.


hmm...

random ass shit
-i am fuckin hungry but right now, fuji apples and coffee is not going to cut it. must buy food

-nothing sucks more than when your skater belt decides to not unlatch during times when you really have to go to the bathroom

-nothing sucks more than when above situation happens in a public bathroom and others hear you do the pee pee dance

-i need to face the fact that i hate boba and there is not going to be a time when i miraculously fall in love with that shit again. the thrill is over.

-i must retire my pan. the teflon is all gone and some how, i effed it up for good by cooking teriyaki chicken. yes, i did that. how? i dunno. but i effed up my pan by merely cooking with it. sucks to be me.

-this damn cricket in my house is driving me bananas. SHUT UP!!!!!! damn, it wants to get laid as bad as i do.

- yes i said the latter.

-did anybody tape "the swan" yesterday?

ok, i shut up now.

word association

COFFEE = addict
YELLOW = aura
PILLOW = marshmallow (i dunno why i just think that)
BRITNEY = gag me
J.LO = ben
PINK = plastic
BOOKS = read
POPCORN = hate movie popcorn
SUMMER = days
WINTER = fall
SPRING = cleaning
AUTUMN = falling in love
RAYMOND = who?
UTT = b
FREUD = german
PARTY = hardy
BLUE = blu
CINNAMON = red
MAGAZINES = lucky
MEMORIES = failing
SUSHI = mac
NEOPRINTS = what the fuck is that?
SORRY = ass
DOG = roll
COUNTRY = city
LOVE = me
PAIN = gain
LIARS = cheaters
CAMERA = film
JEALOUSY = is a silly emotion
BED = sleep
CLUBBING = superficial
LOTR = leggolas
THANKSGIVING = yams
ALOHA = oahu
BASKETBALL = Lakers
GAME = face
SONY = playstation
BIRD = big
SCHOOL = house rocks
MOON = reflect

[on the telly] kill bill vol. 1
[on the cd player] radiohead- amnesia
[sustenance] chicken mole tamales eaten with chopsticks
[burning] sage

i am going thru brave new voices withdrawal. i cannot even express what i have seen in the past few days. basically,the youth taught me something. they taught me to have hope in the wor(l)d. they taught me that being jaded with poetry is a choice and it is up to me to choose loving it again. they taught me about comraderie (wish they taught me how to spell it.) and i have learned that i have been isolating myself from a community i misunderstood. and they have misunderstood me. i have alot to thank melinda for that.


((( break from typing to watch anime sequence )))

highlights:
10. the kitchen on 43rd street at leimert park (the fried chicken, greens and yams)
9. people sportin' the brave new voices shirts
8. medusa and brother j rippin' it at the ebell theater
7. hosting with melinda on friday night's "bridging the beat"-(dude, that woman is amazing)
6. finally meeting vanessa, wendell's cousin
5. saul williams being moved to tears
4. taos team moving me to tears
3. finally meeting jojo and angela from isang mahal
2. hanging out with the folks from seattle. we went dancing. damn, it's been a minute since i did that
1. most memorable was when ypsilanti team did a group collab saying "it's ain't about the competition" and every teen poet that participated in this glorious event went on stage and danced and hugged and closed the event by teaching us that the word is living.

honorable mentions: venice beach, downbeat 720, roscoe's chicken and waffles, dj quixotic, rachael kaan, dj jedi, last minute manicure and pedicure, seeing vanessa at the venue, my new spring wardrobe, michael cirelli's new text book on teaching hip hop and poetry in the class room, pomona college's cream puffs

lowpoints:
1. i keep fuckin up on stage when i was hosting! i said something that came out all wrong. i hope nobody hates me. stupid alfie
2. my hot shit shoes were killing my feet. but they were hot though
3. missing the saul william's free workshop
4. missing blu
5. the withdrawal pangs

but that was about it. not alot of low points...



youth speaks, a damn great organization!


suzie reppin' J.U.I.C.E rippin' it


james kass, executive director of youth speaks


melinda and joanie of youth speaks


me and melinda, hosts of "bridging the beat"


being silly in the dressing room


more time to kill


ok,i know.enough...


medusa on the mic


brother j from xclan, taking it back


ratpack slim


saul spittin' a poem with the youth on stage with him


after the grand slam, with the youth dancing on stage behind us


pocho joe, poet and coach of the downbeat 720 team


babu, poet


danielle, painter and law student, whu-whut!


lisa, fontana coach


beth, coach and ebony of peace garden team

congratulations to oakland/berkeley youthspeaks team for taking it! much love and respect to all the poets!