3:38 pm
i am bored. i am bored and antsy. i want to run. i want to do somthing physical. i can't do this website anymore ( the one for work). i am purging out my anxieties as we speak. i would much rather talk to ryan about oasis lyrics, or numerology with vanessa, or tibi's law with kat. i would much rather walk on venice beach and burn sage. i would much rather face east on the rocks and meditate. the tapping of the keyboards are driving me mad. people are blasting some god awful music and i left my cds at home. i can smell the mango madness body splash that had opened in my backpack and spilled on my copy of celestine prophesy next to me. i am twisting in my chair now. i am doing cubicle callesthetics. now somebody passsed by my cubicle and they giggled. my cubicle is quite cozy by the way. chockful of art, pics, flyers, my drawings and paintings and toys that i know you would be jealous of but you don't express it. i got run dmc next to the right of me and g-force to the left of me. i also have a barrel man, facing the opening of my cubicle, ready to greet anybody who dares pick up his barrel.
i need stimuli. some one call me.. some one.. anybody. i want to hear your voice. i dont want to chat with you via cyber space any longer... two more hours to go.. blaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Friday, May 23, 2003
::manhunt::
I'm goin' on a manhunt, turn it around
Women have been hunted, now they're huntin' around
Manhunt, we all got the need
The one that's been waitin' has taken the lead
----- song from "flashdance"
ok, i am thoroughly amused this morning. thoroughly.
as i confessed not too long ago, i have been battling urges. certain human/animalistic urges. and to be honest with you, i am doing pretty good. been hella busy for one. and two, i am really just harnessing that energy and putting it towards other things like creating, and being active and working out, what have you.
so here i am, feeling good that it is the friday of a three day weekend. i have my ginseng tea in the side, the new massive attack blasting through the headphones, and great energy and love coming thru my ims this morning from my friends.
then i read my horoscope:
"This influence arouses a strong attraction to and desire to be with someone. You will be much more aggressive than usual in going out and finding a partner. This influence is often a sign of physical passion. Under this influence a sexual relationship is very satisfying to both partners. Even without sex, you will be very happy with other people. You feel more vivacious and attractive than usual and may well be the life of the party. You will work hard to gain the approval of others during this time, so strong is your need for affection. Artistic activity is also indicated, for the general significance of this influence is self-expression through creativity and love."
ok ok... MY FEENIN' IS FREAKIN' WRITTEN IN THE STARS. yes, i understand that it is for "entertainment purposes" but sheesh what a coinky-dink! even if it is some random blast, something out there is saying, "yes, honey. you are right. you are now entering your peak just a few years early. just face it. even some random php/cgi-bin programmer from some random horoscope site that publishes random messages for entertainment purposes only know you are feenin'."
to the big ScreenWriter in the sky: "hehe, very funny. very funny."
I'm goin' on a manhunt, turn it around
Women have been hunted, now they're huntin' around
Manhunt, we all got the need
The one that's been waitin' has taken the lead
----- song from "flashdance"
ok, i am thoroughly amused this morning. thoroughly.
as i confessed not too long ago, i have been battling urges. certain human/animalistic urges. and to be honest with you, i am doing pretty good. been hella busy for one. and two, i am really just harnessing that energy and putting it towards other things like creating, and being active and working out, what have you.
so here i am, feeling good that it is the friday of a three day weekend. i have my ginseng tea in the side, the new massive attack blasting through the headphones, and great energy and love coming thru my ims this morning from my friends.
then i read my horoscope:
"This influence arouses a strong attraction to and desire to be with someone. You will be much more aggressive than usual in going out and finding a partner. This influence is often a sign of physical passion. Under this influence a sexual relationship is very satisfying to both partners. Even without sex, you will be very happy with other people. You feel more vivacious and attractive than usual and may well be the life of the party. You will work hard to gain the approval of others during this time, so strong is your need for affection. Artistic activity is also indicated, for the general significance of this influence is self-expression through creativity and love."
ok ok... MY FEENIN' IS FREAKIN' WRITTEN IN THE STARS. yes, i understand that it is for "entertainment purposes" but sheesh what a coinky-dink! even if it is some random blast, something out there is saying, "yes, honey. you are right. you are now entering your peak just a few years early. just face it. even some random php/cgi-bin programmer from some random horoscope site that publishes random messages for entertainment purposes only know you are feenin'."
to the big ScreenWriter in the sky: "hehe, very funny. very funny."
Thursday, May 22, 2003
randomness
suckin' on: a mango and pineapple lollipop
sippin' on: hazelnut iced coffee
pickin' on: vanessa and her fickle cell phone
listenin' to: nothing. cd stopped and i left my headphones on so nobody would talk to me
i think i am going to bring fresh flowers in to the office every week. heard it was good feng shui. today, i have a red gerbera daisy (given to me by traci from the tuesday nights cafe and a yellow gerbera daisy from the show we did at uc irvine for a TAPS and GABRIELA NETWORK.
it was a LOVELY show. let me tell you. i don't know what it is but lately, i have been faded with the spoken word scene. i am not doggin' on it. in fact i encourage it. i encourage people to go out there, write, and share their words with others in hope to connect with other kindred spirits. but i was hearing the same things and the same intonations.
i then stopped writing cuz i found myself not writing. alot has to do because i am actually going thru this transformation and i am not done yet. so until i solidify my stance on things, you won't hear new work from me. and i am not going to bullshit you with half-written pieces on shit you already heard. but no worries. i will be sharing new pieces soon.
but last night, was ...dope. for a lack of a better word, it was dope! it felt magical, like when i first stepped behind a mic. it was genuine energy, and the exchange of energy that reminded me why i get up there and spill my guts out to the world. featured last night was alison de la cruz, zero 3, and bc, (which was basically kat, belle, vanessa, alison, melandy, johneric, and me. edren was there but he repped zero3 last night.) joi barrios was the honored performer/educator and it was peace listening to poetry from the old school. she was moved by our performance as we were to hers.
she said it was awesome to see poetry in a whole different realm in our community. back then, it was all about seeking identity. now it is in a realm where we (this generation) know where we come from and we use our voices as artillerary to speak up on our emotions, document our stories, and demand for social justice.
and we owe it all to them, to help paved the way for us, to help make sense of ourselves, to educate us, so that we can do the same for up and coming artists.
give thanks... give thanks.
meanwhile...
should i get these shoes?
suckin' on: a mango and pineapple lollipop
sippin' on: hazelnut iced coffee
pickin' on: vanessa and her fickle cell phone
listenin' to: nothing. cd stopped and i left my headphones on so nobody would talk to me
i think i am going to bring fresh flowers in to the office every week. heard it was good feng shui. today, i have a red gerbera daisy (given to me by traci from the tuesday nights cafe and a yellow gerbera daisy from the show we did at uc irvine for a TAPS and GABRIELA NETWORK.
it was a LOVELY show. let me tell you. i don't know what it is but lately, i have been faded with the spoken word scene. i am not doggin' on it. in fact i encourage it. i encourage people to go out there, write, and share their words with others in hope to connect with other kindred spirits. but i was hearing the same things and the same intonations.
i then stopped writing cuz i found myself not writing. alot has to do because i am actually going thru this transformation and i am not done yet. so until i solidify my stance on things, you won't hear new work from me. and i am not going to bullshit you with half-written pieces on shit you already heard. but no worries. i will be sharing new pieces soon.
but last night, was ...dope. for a lack of a better word, it was dope! it felt magical, like when i first stepped behind a mic. it was genuine energy, and the exchange of energy that reminded me why i get up there and spill my guts out to the world. featured last night was alison de la cruz, zero 3, and bc, (which was basically kat, belle, vanessa, alison, melandy, johneric, and me. edren was there but he repped zero3 last night.) joi barrios was the honored performer/educator and it was peace listening to poetry from the old school. she was moved by our performance as we were to hers.
she said it was awesome to see poetry in a whole different realm in our community. back then, it was all about seeking identity. now it is in a realm where we (this generation) know where we come from and we use our voices as artillerary to speak up on our emotions, document our stories, and demand for social justice.
and we owe it all to them, to help paved the way for us, to help make sense of ourselves, to educate us, so that we can do the same for up and coming artists.
give thanks... give thanks.
meanwhile...
should i get these shoes?
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
thought of the day:
is love love when it is not recipricated? can love be as great as it is if the other does not return it? does it have to be validated for it to exist?
Kris P Pata: true love is in the heart
Kris P Pata: and mind
deepfriedbangus: love is a choice. you can choose to love, whether or not you get the same love back... reciprocation just makes it feel a little better...
deepfriedbangus: i guess loving someone and accepting not getting it back can be a little unhealthy emotionally... cause you're always guessing...
deepfriedbangus: love is probably greater if you can do it and NOT get it back, cause it takes a lot for a human to put themselves through that.
caineinyamouf: it can exist without reciprication
caineinyamouf: example....
caineinyamouf: you can fall in and out of love with someone over hte course of a relationship
caineinyamouf: sometimes you can be completely in love with your spose.mate/lover...whatever... and them not with you
caineinyamouf: happens all the time. it's called marriage
caineinyamouf: lol
sponsays: "i got nothin but love for ya baby"
sponsays: the heavster didn't say anything about wanted love back
sponsays: he just gave it out!
kittie1527: fuck men
kittie1527: ahhaha jk
Alfie says: lololololololololololol
kittie1527: see what they make us fucking question???
kittie1527: they can't live without us. period. so why can't they wise up and get with it already!
PorkJELLO: ok, thanks morpheus
LEGEND djs: "fuck em...then leave em"
LEGEND djs: THATS MY QUOTE OF THE DAY.
MajGoku2002: love doesnt need validation! affection needs validation...big difference
MajGoku2002: *pokes alfie* hows that?
prozac advocate: love is validated when it is felt...sometimes peeps don't know how to receive your love, does that mean it's worthless?
prozac advocate: no...it means that though it exists, it can't be reciprocated,but none the less, it lives...from that point,a decision is to be made:
prozac advocate: to continue to allow love to grow or to let it breathe until it is out of breath
prozac advocate: i opt for the latter
prozac advocate: i don't believe in limits
ozoenlacasa: i
ozoenlacasa: love
ozoenlacasa: halle berry
ozoenlacasa: now...that love will never be reciprocated
ozoenlacasa: but I still LOOOOOOOVE her!
(((sigh))) like wendell says, "alfie, just love." ok.. so i do... i let the winds take it where it needs to be taken. just wonderin' when it will blow back in my direction.
until then...
imma conquer the world for my own.
in the meantime,
i love you...
is love love when it is not recipricated? can love be as great as it is if the other does not return it? does it have to be validated for it to exist?
Kris P Pata: true love is in the heart
Kris P Pata: and mind
deepfriedbangus: love is a choice. you can choose to love, whether or not you get the same love back... reciprocation just makes it feel a little better...
deepfriedbangus: i guess loving someone and accepting not getting it back can be a little unhealthy emotionally... cause you're always guessing...
deepfriedbangus: love is probably greater if you can do it and NOT get it back, cause it takes a lot for a human to put themselves through that.
caineinyamouf: it can exist without reciprication
caineinyamouf: example....
caineinyamouf: you can fall in and out of love with someone over hte course of a relationship
caineinyamouf: sometimes you can be completely in love with your spose.mate/lover...whatever... and them not with you
caineinyamouf: happens all the time. it's called marriage
caineinyamouf: lol
sponsays: "i got nothin but love for ya baby"
sponsays: the heavster didn't say anything about wanted love back
sponsays: he just gave it out!
kittie1527: fuck men
kittie1527: ahhaha jk
Alfie says: lololololololololololol
kittie1527: see what they make us fucking question???
kittie1527: they can't live without us. period. so why can't they wise up and get with it already!
PorkJELLO: ok, thanks morpheus
LEGEND djs: "fuck em...then leave em"
LEGEND djs: THATS MY QUOTE OF THE DAY.
MajGoku2002: love doesnt need validation! affection needs validation...big difference
MajGoku2002: *pokes alfie* hows that?
prozac advocate: love is validated when it is felt...sometimes peeps don't know how to receive your love, does that mean it's worthless?
prozac advocate: no...it means that though it exists, it can't be reciprocated,but none the less, it lives...from that point,a decision is to be made:
prozac advocate: to continue to allow love to grow or to let it breathe until it is out of breath
prozac advocate: i opt for the latter
prozac advocate: i don't believe in limits
ozoenlacasa: i
ozoenlacasa: love
ozoenlacasa: halle berry
ozoenlacasa: now...that love will never be reciprocated
ozoenlacasa: but I still LOOOOOOOVE her!
(((sigh))) like wendell says, "alfie, just love." ok.. so i do... i let the winds take it where it needs to be taken. just wonderin' when it will blow back in my direction.
until then...
imma conquer the world for my own.
in the meantime,
i love you...
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
big bird, barney, and metallica
the US military's cruel and unusual punishment.
it is reported that the military uses songs from big bird, barney, and metallica played over and over to make the prisoners of wars spill out their secrets. oh, the humanity of it all!
conversation with god
i was examining my body and came to the conclusion that my body was made to have big boobies. proportionally, it is meant to have big boobies.
so i asked god. "god, why you no give me big boobs."
as to where he replied...
"shut up. there are more pressing issues to think about."
the US military's cruel and unusual punishment.
it is reported that the military uses songs from big bird, barney, and metallica played over and over to make the prisoners of wars spill out their secrets. oh, the humanity of it all!
conversation with god
i was examining my body and came to the conclusion that my body was made to have big boobies. proportionally, it is meant to have big boobies.
so i asked god. "god, why you no give me big boobs."
as to where he replied...
"shut up. there are more pressing issues to think about."
Monday, May 19, 2003
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