I feel ansy. I feel contained in a too small body even though I sometimes complain it is too big. I have this locomotion of energy wanting to come out and it is communicating with me thru morse codes by ways of heart palpitations. Call it the caffeine but I think I want to CREATE. I have never had such a strong need to create and do art. I want to leave my office and soak up the sun. Then I want to go home, burn nag champa, put on Les Nubiennes, drink chai yerba mate with soy milk and honey, and paint the day away.

I want to paint what has been singing in my heart. I want to paint what has been bickering in my head. I want to paint what has been itching in my skin. I want to paint what has been punching me in my gut. I just want to fucking dip my hands in a tub full of color and show you what is swirling in my chest cavity.

I begged my muse to inspire me to write. It is easier to write at work; it’s less conspicuous. But what I am feeling right now cannot be built with lego alphabet. It needs to be built with hues.

But I have to wait.
Check out these artists:
Cynthia von Buhlor
Yoshitaka Amano
Benjamin Carre

here is the thought of the day: would you move with the love of your life to a place you know nothing about, far from friends and family and the life you know, and you will never see them again? or would you stay not knowing if you will ever find your soulmate?

and they said...

vanessawithamg: how good is the sex?
vanessawithamg: jk.. i just want to get quoted on your blog

ARCHON236: wow....
ARCHON236: i'd leave
ARCHON236: cuz the wonder of the internet will be my way of connecting with family

caineinyamouf: wow
caineinyamouf: hmmmm....
caineinyamouf: i would prolly stay
caineinyamouf: no guarantee things would work out wit hher right?
caineinyamouf: couple years ago i would have said "go for it."

MajGoku2002: i would have, yes
MajGoku2002: worst than never knowing your soulmate is knowing them and not being able to consumate the connection

DaPoet7: WOH
DaPoet7: that's a heavy one lola.

lazylarry26: that's like me moving to hawaii with my gfriend to hawaii...i guess it depends on the place you are moving...if i had to move to oklahoma that would suck (no brown people)
Alfie says: lololololol

ok, so here is the thought of the day... if you met someone thru a mutual friend. and that person dig you and asked around for your number and this person calls you. and say this person went out with you a couple of nights .. and say this person is now going to you up, which you are happily ditching work, to go to the beach... is it a date??? ( ps, you have not kissed but you slept with each other (literally sleep) and you take silly pictures like threesome with a frog) ahem.... so is it a date?

side note: again, this is not me!

answers
Sponsays: i'd say yes
Sponsays: but a date has more to do with INTENTION than with what you actually do

MajGoku2002: yes
MajGoku2002: or a prelude to a date

lazylarry26: haha...yeah it's a date

kittie1527: pretty much, yeah.
kittie1527: if the persons are single... is it really a big deal to define it as dating or not?
Alfie says: no, it is me being a brat

PorkJELLO: yes

caineinyamouf: yes
caineinyamouf: bone him!
caineinyamouf: lol
caineinyamouf: hahahaha
caineinyamouf: jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk
Alfie says: AGAIN, THIS IS NOT ME!!!!
caineinyamouf: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
caineinyamouf: and I am not Caine
caineinyamouf: buuuuuuuhahahahahhaha

the real person in question
Friend: Screw you! {middle finger firmly raised at the monitor}
Alfie says: HAHAHAHAHAHH
Friend: we're just friends....
Alfie says: BUT it is looking so cute
Friend: this all going to be so overblown...
Friend: I can feel the avalance rumbling already...
Friend: I like to think of it more of as two friends hanging out
Friend: with no strings, no prejudgments, no expectations, and no SEX!!!
Friend: could it be a prelude to something else, YES! I'll admit that...
Friend: but this is not a date. there will be no flowers, I will not be opening the passenger door for her, I will not be paying for dinner, etc. etc.
Alfie says: but you gonna sit in the sun half naked
Alfie says: hehehehehh j k jk kjkjkjkjkjkj
Friend: so I sit in the sun half naked with my sister, does that make me want to date her...
Alfie says: ew
Alfie says: lol
Alfie says: nevermind


all good, friend, i was just teasing you!!!

update
i demand an apology from FRIEND for warning me on aim! i ended up being right!!!!

friend: OK, now you can call a date...
friend: I just talked to her,
Alfie says: BUSTED!!!! and?????
friend: she has a picnic at the beach all planned out...


touuuuuuucheeeeeee!

May these words fall where they are supposed to…

Young soldiers, keep pressing on. Young warriors, keep your heads high. Times may be tough and you may think all is lost. But as you know your enemy, know your arsenal. Know what you are equipped with. Know your heart, your soul, what knowledge you have acquired thus far. Know That you have means to make it another day. That though shit don’t make sense, and though you feel God is not listening to you, believe that you are at the right place and at the right time and be prepared to make yet another great revelation of life.

trust, i know the pain. i myself am trying to figure out life, making mistakes, learning from the mistakes, celebrating during victories.

It’s not easy trying to figure out life at eyelevel; you have too many obstacles blocking your view. Take the eagle’s flight and see the whole picture. You will see things with clarity when you widen your view.

And though you struggle to see clearly because of tears welling up, know this… that the lesson is going to be GOOD.

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proud of you

To the young strong queen I have been talking to late at night about life, I am so proud of where you are now. You are at a good place. Remember your worth and that you set your own value. Set your standards high. And as you aspire to be that elevated level, remember to look for man just as high as your caliber. He COMPLIMENTS you, not COMPLETES you; you are whole already. Leave that jerry Maguire shit to the movies.

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as for me, can some one give me the number for mr. sandman? i have a bone to pick with him. it is friggin' 3:40 in the damn morning and he stood me up yet once again. mudder packer...

beautiful woman part 2

ish's thoughts on a beautiful woman...

KillerCapoeira: I think that it has to do with my love of strong forceful, sporty, Tomboyish women
Alfie says: they are more assertive... less girly but definitely womanly
KillerCapoeira: Yesssssssss!
KillerCapoeira: I guess that I just find people who defy stupid cultural norms to be hella sexy!
KillerCapoeira: Especially those that tell you that you must be weak, submissive and waste your time painting your face when it is already more vibrant than the sun!
KillerCapoeira: I'm tellin' you, that's that shit! I wanna girl who can be dope even after civilization collapses! If you need three entire industries in order to show your beauty, something is wrong!

so then i asked my other friends- what makes a woman beautful?

faith santilla: maturity
faith santilla: all her experiences bad and good

kittie1527: EVERYTHING ABOUT HER
kittie1527: :-)

ARCHON236: i just think discussing shit without getting personal is sexy
ARCHON236: so in summation...the ability to rap without getting personal and long straight hair are but a small facet of what makes a woman beautiful
ARCHON236: and no weed makes them beautiful too

boys will be boys
SmoothEddy: big breasteses

PorkJELLO: plastic surgery
Alfie says: dork
PorkJELLO: ok
PorkJELLO: scratch last answer
PorkJELLO: what makes a woman beautiful
PorkJELLO: um
PorkJELLO: huge knockers?

RJesena: nice eyes
RJesena: a nice rack
Alfie says: ew
Alfie says: i am not putting that on the blog
RJesena:whew, thank god.

beautiful woman

wonderful soul meymuna sent me this poem this morning. thanks so much, sis! this is really inspiring.





Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself,
and the other for helping others.

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human nature is so complex but achieving humanity is so simple. let's all practice it.