sisters:::..

my younger sister came over after class yesterday. her bf had plans with friends and she wanted to show me her new car. as you remember, my sister's car got stolen from her college campus. she got her insurance money and got a subaru impreza wrx. yup, she has a phat ride but my mother insisted she gets it. my father, on the other hand, flipped out. my mother is funny. she says,"oh he says that now but wait till he sees it. he will like it."

we had a SISTERS night. no men. no brother. no parents. no outside friends. it was just me and anna. and though we are 9 years apart, we are as close as best friends can be. she brings down my age and i bring up hers. last night was our night to catch up with everything.

we actually went to the beverly center. i have been anti-mall but i needed to get some oils and makeup and i am quite partial to MAC. for dinner we dove into bbq chicken pizza at the California Pizza Kitchen, even treating ourselves with tiramisu at the end.

we headed home where she gave me my once-in-a-blue-moon haircut, while watching AMELIE and burning sandalwood incense. with the scent mixed in with my peach oil dabbed in certain pulse points, my sister says this feels familiar to her. we then went back in time when i was 16 and she was 7, and she would watch me get ready for school, wearing the same mango oil. i would purposely put too much on my hands, to then i would gently rub it onto her wrists and neck. the sandalwood incense reminded me of the philippines, 1986. that was the year when gramma marciana died and we were there to bid her farewell. sandalwood incense was burned everyday for 11 days at her altar.

and now she is one of my divine guides, working with God to guide me thru the quiet storms.

i remember you, my ancestors, and i will make sure my sister and brother remember you too...


To take inventory of every pearl of knowledge
And string them together and maybe pass it on as an heirloom
To understand where I have been and where I am going
That maybe in eagle's perspective,
I can see me growing

I want to fly…

excerpt from "Eagle's Flight"

((sigh))

i feel like such the dreamer today.

i am definitely not my self today. i need to focus on my projects. but it seems that my mind is preoccupied with burgandy velvet curtains, filtering light shining brighter than the sun itself. a window of the soul, if i do say so myself. where lines like "tell me what is behind that stare/ am i there with you" and "you make me breathe so easy" tends to linger, long after the song is played on my cd player.

blah...

(( snap ))

gotta focus on my stuff...

a morton brother spews:::...

spon: "Jenny from the block" from J-Lo is officially the worst song ever

me: oh god. i have not heard of that song

spon: stole teh beatnuts beat from off the books

spon:there should be a rule that if you take a beat that's less than 5 years old, every fan of the original song has the right to punch you in the throat on sight.

me: damn

eargasms: emiliana torriani
eyegasms: starbursts and supernovas with a bit of a question mark
oral-gasms: ginseng ginger ale
kinetic-gasms: the touch of someone's spine when you two are dancing
nasal-gasms: one love oil mixed with blue nile


and so the saga continues. i have laughed off the previous male-oriented talk about the nature of men and have moved on. if men are like tamagochis, then i am waiting for the 27 upgrades to the product, along with a money back guarantee AND instruction manual. i get bored easily.

this past week has ran me ragged. so much work, so much preparations, so many things to do. i often question why i do so much and if it is worth the journey. it always comes back to "yes, it is worth it. look at the bigger picture."

i have come to realize that life is a serious of little paths that meander thru one big road. i understand my christian upbringing says the the road is straight and narrow but i don't think it is as blunt as it sounds. there is a road to your destination, however, there are narrow little paths overlooked that one must take in order to fully understand the true purpose of your greater journey. for example, i could have done the equation; go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, continue to get 401k plan to grow, retire, and then pass on. well, what if i didn't take those little chances? i would not be where i am today. i took a chance opening my soul to strangers and i connect with people i never knew i would be able to connect with. these people then take me to other paths which leads me to places never discovered by the straight and narrow paths, places that help me understand me, help me understand other, help me know God better.

don't get me wrong. i long for a family with wonderful mate for my soul and children who will bring me full circle. but all this exploration, all this struggle, all this effort is for first most, God, and then secondly, to cushion their existance withen my world. just a bit of reflection for you this monday afternoon.

my weekend synopsis:
*alcohol trips people out. but a great truth serum.

*i miss arnie. electric lotus was fun! good to see old friends again. happy birthday, kuya!

*my dog makes me laugh. he drives me crazy sometimes but he makes me laugh.

*walking 10 km (6.6 miles) for charity is just a drop in the bucket. the struggle continues. it is just waiting for you.

*ish and i had a meeting for nommo. had taro boba, heart palpitated for kulingtang and saul williams, shared his essence and talked about angels and gens and how humans are a combination of of the two. i will work towards angel.

*"vulgar" is not a comedy. clown rape is not funny.

*went to caine and brian's pad to watch wwe no mercy. ray mysterio's 619 is one of the dopest moves ever

* jasmine makes me smile

*a kindred spirit convinced me to get out of bed to come play with him. didn't know basslines, red and purple neon lights, and philidelphia djs can be so fun.