you gotta check out my boy jack . he is going through 30 DAYS OF CELIBACY and he is keeping a blog during this period. this should be quite interesting.
i was told by several people that i "do too much". that at times i spread myself too thin. i have a problem of saying "no" to things i believe in, esp when it comes to my art and to the community. i will elaborate when i have a chance. right now, i gotta work.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
quote of the day:::..
"Let those that love us, love us. And those that don't, may God turn their hearts. And, if He cannot turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles so we may know them by their limping!"---Proverb
quote of the day from alfie's circle of friends:::..
"That ain't a limp; that's a PIMP strut!"--- Ish
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
1. what's on your bedside table?
a mess... yes.. so non-virgo
2. what's the gayest part of your music collection?
a collection of freestyle music... sweet sensation, george lamond, dino, etc
3. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
i don't.i just stare at it.
4. what is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
the hans christian anderson version of "the little mermaid"
5. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
i want a second set of arms
6. do you have a completely irrational fear?
Oh my god! Do I??? What if I do???
7. what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
i won't answer that cuz then you would all know. can't have that now, can we?
8. do you ever have to beg?
yes, i am cuter when i do that. hahha NO, facker!
9. do you have too many love interests?
yes, i feel like my boy-crazy 13 year old self again, except i deal with boys trapped in men's bodies
10. do you know anyone famous?
yes, i know the blue power ranger
11. describe your bed.
too small with a leopard comforter
12. spontaneous or plan?
spontaneous ... sometimes too spontaneous
13. who should play you in a movie about your life?
ummm... there are no pinay actresses out there.... oh wait, my friend joy bisco ( hey if wil smith can play ali then she can portray me.) the white version of me is janeane garafalo.
14. do you know how to play poker?
no, but i know how to tell love fortunes
15. what do you carry with you at all times?
a mic.. no joke
16. how do you drive?
does the song that goes, "Move, Get OUT the WAY!" by Ludacris answer that question? i looooove driving 80 and above.
17. What do you miss most about being little?
being able to swing from daddy's arms
18. are you happy with your given name?
i can't picture me having a "normal" name... so yes
19. What color is your bedroom?
messy
20. What was the last song you were listening to?
"pakt like sardines in a crushed tin can"-radiohead
21. have you ever been in a school play?
yes, i wrote one too
22. Have you ever been in love?
sure, why not. *duck* *dodge* *weave*
23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
yes, God does so i do.
24. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
umm.....pass. (( cough cough))
25. Do you think you're cute?
my mother thinks so. and she doesn't lie, does she?
26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
I LOVE YOUR GUTS
a mess... yes.. so non-virgo
2. what's the gayest part of your music collection?
a collection of freestyle music... sweet sensation, george lamond, dino, etc
3. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
i don't.i just stare at it.
4. what is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
the hans christian anderson version of "the little mermaid"
5. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
i want a second set of arms
6. do you have a completely irrational fear?
Oh my god! Do I??? What if I do???
7. what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
i won't answer that cuz then you would all know. can't have that now, can we?
8. do you ever have to beg?
yes, i am cuter when i do that. hahha NO, facker!
9. do you have too many love interests?
yes, i feel like my boy-crazy 13 year old self again, except i deal with boys trapped in men's bodies
10. do you know anyone famous?
yes, i know the blue power ranger
11. describe your bed.
too small with a leopard comforter
12. spontaneous or plan?
spontaneous ... sometimes too spontaneous
13. who should play you in a movie about your life?
ummm... there are no pinay actresses out there.... oh wait, my friend joy bisco ( hey if wil smith can play ali then she can portray me.) the white version of me is janeane garafalo.
14. do you know how to play poker?
no, but i know how to tell love fortunes
15. what do you carry with you at all times?
a mic.. no joke
16. how do you drive?
does the song that goes, "Move, Get OUT the WAY!" by Ludacris answer that question? i looooove driving 80 and above.
17. What do you miss most about being little?
being able to swing from daddy's arms
18. are you happy with your given name?
i can't picture me having a "normal" name... so yes
19. What color is your bedroom?
messy
20. What was the last song you were listening to?
"pakt like sardines in a crushed tin can"-radiohead
21. have you ever been in a school play?
yes, i wrote one too
22. Have you ever been in love?
sure, why not. *duck* *dodge* *weave*
23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
yes, God does so i do.
24. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
umm.....pass. (( cough cough))
25. Do you think you're cute?
my mother thinks so. and she doesn't lie, does she?
26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
I LOVE YOUR GUTS
Monday, September 30, 2002
listening: meshel ndegeocello- "fool of me" ( i don't know why i do this to myself)
sipping: lemon ginger tea
wishing: for the day i can make my own hours
praying: for many blessings and praise for the new Hardaway's baby
sigh.. mondays are hard. esp when you have a cold and the sanctity of a warm fluffy bed is more than enticing. but here i am, chugging away. everybody in the art dep. has called out and i am the only trooper. here i am, coffee in the right, a package of benedryl to the left and a box of kleenex on standby.
despite of the lil bug i have taken on, the weather is beautiful. saturday brought in much needed rain. i find peace in the smell of the first rain... water and asphalt. it is comforting. right, capdiggy?
my weekend is a continuation of birthday festivities. paez took me out to lunch and to see "spirited away". i absolutely looooooove miyazaki's work and this current film has placed a bar above "princess mononoke". this film exemplifies an uninhibited creative mind where lots of children's stories lack nowadays. it is definitely a modern day fairy tale.
it was nice hanging out with paez because i learn alot from him about human nature and most importantly, music! later on in the evening, he left for a bachelor party. he invited me but i just couldnt see myself with a roomful of testosterone honing in on a scantily clad hoochie mama so instead i went to the movies with caine.
brian: so what did you all see?
me: we went to see "barbershop"
brian: oh really how was it?
me: it was cool. but don't expect a "friday"
brian: aint nothing compared to "friday"
me: yea it was just a feel good movie
brian: feel good??? i thought you and caine are just friends!
me: OH JEEZUS!
me: yes we went to the movies but we didn't "go to the mooooooooovies"
side note: i tease brian about going to the "mooooovies".. it is my code word for him meaning "getting your groove on"
caine and i had a great talk afterwards. it is important to always question your steps and take inventory at where you are at and where you would like to be going. it is all about taking the journey willingly and learning all the lessons attached to it, both good and bad. because no matter how joyous it is, or painful it is, it shapes us into a more remarkable person.
I call upon the challenges of
Trials and Tribulation
I invite them to apply pressure
And to refine my carbon “me”
the conversation led to a poem that had alot of my guy friends wondering. the first night i read this, all my guy friends had a face like "who is she talking about?" hahaha, i love it.well, wouldnt you all would like to know the truth about that poem! but caine brought up a good point though:
"you complain about you having the buddy syndrome. but you have a huge circle of men who love you and treat you with respect. we take care of you until the right one comes along.">/b>
i can't argue with that. my boys are dopealicious. i know they have my back and i have theirs! they comfort me when i cry; they make me laugh over petty situations; they stroke my ego when it is deflated. they do basically, alot for me and i so appreciate theat. now if i can only roll them all into one handsome guy, sprinkled with desire for me and me only, then we are set!!!
the poem in question:
I am intrigued by you.
In fact, I can almost say that
I could be at the very least
Quite smitten by you
But before we can get this out of hand
There is something I need to tell you.
Because as days go on
With people busily being enamored with
Their lives, giggling through most of their days
With the occasional bleep out the bad word complaints
Of how life seems to be too complex
When really, they are just too overly sensitive with reality,
I am living with something which
Plagues my very well-being
And being that I may be an optimist at heart
I don’t want to take chances with yours
See, I suffer this condition
In which I truly, morally believe
That I should tell any man in which
A deeper connection can actually develop
I want to be honest
I want to be direct
I want to be able to let you know what
Exactly you are getting yourself into
You see, what I have
Does not have a vaccine
It flares up during the most inopportune moments
Leaving me battling with scars hidden by the naked eye
But definitely, something that I can feel
I suffer from TBS
The Buddy Syndrome
From what I can understand
I am quite contagious
It attacks the brains and minds
Of men who has the ability to quicken my heartbeat
By a mere glance at my direction
Men who can very much be able
To send chills up and down my spine
The good kind, you know the kind
That makes your spine be a radar for that person
And that person only
And I am not quite sure who is susceptible more
But I am definitely a carrier
This condition can turn any potential
Budding relationship
Into a buddy relationship
Making that window of opportunity smaller
Or in some cases, non-existing
Don’t get me wrong
I love Thursday WWF Smackdown Nights
And smacking asses on Dreamcast or PS2
And even midnight rendevous at Mel’s Diner because
I have that moon phase craving for sundaes
While my buddy friend simply craves to eat
I even accept that fact that men
Lack the cognitive or analytical skills
To help me during my “woe is me” emotional fits
As my female friends do
But I accept the big secure hug from strong arms,
Keeping me together,
Topped with a comforting, yet platonic, kiss on my temple
I am grateful for all of that
In fact, some of my buddies are meant to be buddies…
But how many buddies does it take to screw on a lightbulb
In my cartoon bubble hanging over my head
Shedding light that I have got that Midas touch
In which every man I touch, turns into a buddy?
Friends say I am too picky
But how can I pick from a sea of buddies?
It is almost like all men conspired to form a cult
Complete with secret handshakes
And secret meetings at someone’s bachelor pad
While watching satellite cable
Exchanging ways in how to recruit new members
In the ABC, Alfie Buddy Coalition
A religion where I very much can be the nun
(Shoot, it has been that long)
Where these men address me as Sister Alfie
And though I call them by their first name
I mentally tack on my sign of respect
Because it would be quite redundant and tiring for me
To say it out loud every time I call their name
“Why hello Buddy Bob! Hello there, Buddy Doug? How are things, Buddy Joe?”
Buddy Buddy Buddy
Every where, every time, it is a buddy.
For once, I wish to be looked at that special way
Where men fantasize about me
Like how they fantasize about that porn star, Aria Giovanni
Except I won’t show my punani
Instead I will walk away, tossing my black hair back
With this “oh yes, you wish” type of way
Or just view me anything just slightly short of “kid sister” or “one of the guys”
Now that you are informed
Now that you are fully aware
Do as you please
Just don’t get too close
You might contract what I have
And I think I like you just too much
Just to be a buddy
------------------------------------------------------
sipping: lemon ginger tea
wishing: for the day i can make my own hours
praying: for many blessings and praise for the new Hardaway's baby
sigh.. mondays are hard. esp when you have a cold and the sanctity of a warm fluffy bed is more than enticing. but here i am, chugging away. everybody in the art dep. has called out and i am the only trooper. here i am, coffee in the right, a package of benedryl to the left and a box of kleenex on standby.
despite of the lil bug i have taken on, the weather is beautiful. saturday brought in much needed rain. i find peace in the smell of the first rain... water and asphalt. it is comforting. right, capdiggy?
my weekend is a continuation of birthday festivities. paez took me out to lunch and to see "spirited away". i absolutely looooooove miyazaki's work and this current film has placed a bar above "princess mononoke". this film exemplifies an uninhibited creative mind where lots of children's stories lack nowadays. it is definitely a modern day fairy tale.
it was nice hanging out with paez because i learn alot from him about human nature and most importantly, music! later on in the evening, he left for a bachelor party. he invited me but i just couldnt see myself with a roomful of testosterone honing in on a scantily clad hoochie mama so instead i went to the movies with caine.
brian: so what did you all see?
me: we went to see "barbershop"
brian: oh really how was it?
me: it was cool. but don't expect a "friday"
brian: aint nothing compared to "friday"
me: yea it was just a feel good movie
brian: feel good??? i thought you and caine are just friends!
me: OH JEEZUS!
me: yes we went to the movies but we didn't "go to the mooooooooovies"
side note: i tease brian about going to the "mooooovies".. it is my code word for him meaning "getting your groove on"
caine and i had a great talk afterwards. it is important to always question your steps and take inventory at where you are at and where you would like to be going. it is all about taking the journey willingly and learning all the lessons attached to it, both good and bad. because no matter how joyous it is, or painful it is, it shapes us into a more remarkable person.
I call upon the challenges of
Trials and Tribulation
I invite them to apply pressure
And to refine my carbon “me”
the conversation led to a poem that had alot of my guy friends wondering. the first night i read this, all my guy friends had a face like "who is she talking about?" hahaha, i love it.well, wouldnt you all would like to know the truth about that poem! but caine brought up a good point though:
"you complain about you having the buddy syndrome. but you have a huge circle of men who love you and treat you with respect. we take care of you until the right one comes along.">/b>
i can't argue with that. my boys are dopealicious. i know they have my back and i have theirs! they comfort me when i cry; they make me laugh over petty situations; they stroke my ego when it is deflated. they do basically, alot for me and i so appreciate theat. now if i can only roll them all into one handsome guy, sprinkled with desire for me and me only, then we are set!!!
the poem in question:
I am intrigued by you.
In fact, I can almost say that
I could be at the very least
Quite smitten by you
But before we can get this out of hand
There is something I need to tell you.
Because as days go on
With people busily being enamored with
Their lives, giggling through most of their days
With the occasional bleep out the bad word complaints
Of how life seems to be too complex
When really, they are just too overly sensitive with reality,
I am living with something which
Plagues my very well-being
And being that I may be an optimist at heart
I don’t want to take chances with yours
See, I suffer this condition
In which I truly, morally believe
That I should tell any man in which
A deeper connection can actually develop
I want to be honest
I want to be direct
I want to be able to let you know what
Exactly you are getting yourself into
You see, what I have
Does not have a vaccine
It flares up during the most inopportune moments
Leaving me battling with scars hidden by the naked eye
But definitely, something that I can feel
I suffer from TBS
The Buddy Syndrome
From what I can understand
I am quite contagious
It attacks the brains and minds
Of men who has the ability to quicken my heartbeat
By a mere glance at my direction
Men who can very much be able
To send chills up and down my spine
The good kind, you know the kind
That makes your spine be a radar for that person
And that person only
And I am not quite sure who is susceptible more
But I am definitely a carrier
This condition can turn any potential
Budding relationship
Into a buddy relationship
Making that window of opportunity smaller
Or in some cases, non-existing
Don’t get me wrong
I love Thursday WWF Smackdown Nights
And smacking asses on Dreamcast or PS2
And even midnight rendevous at Mel’s Diner because
I have that moon phase craving for sundaes
While my buddy friend simply craves to eat
I even accept that fact that men
Lack the cognitive or analytical skills
To help me during my “woe is me” emotional fits
As my female friends do
But I accept the big secure hug from strong arms,
Keeping me together,
Topped with a comforting, yet platonic, kiss on my temple
I am grateful for all of that
In fact, some of my buddies are meant to be buddies…
But how many buddies does it take to screw on a lightbulb
In my cartoon bubble hanging over my head
Shedding light that I have got that Midas touch
In which every man I touch, turns into a buddy?
Friends say I am too picky
But how can I pick from a sea of buddies?
It is almost like all men conspired to form a cult
Complete with secret handshakes
And secret meetings at someone’s bachelor pad
While watching satellite cable
Exchanging ways in how to recruit new members
In the ABC, Alfie Buddy Coalition
A religion where I very much can be the nun
(Shoot, it has been that long)
Where these men address me as Sister Alfie
And though I call them by their first name
I mentally tack on my sign of respect
Because it would be quite redundant and tiring for me
To say it out loud every time I call their name
“Why hello Buddy Bob! Hello there, Buddy Doug? How are things, Buddy Joe?”
Buddy Buddy Buddy
Every where, every time, it is a buddy.
For once, I wish to be looked at that special way
Where men fantasize about me
Like how they fantasize about that porn star, Aria Giovanni
Except I won’t show my punani
Instead I will walk away, tossing my black hair back
With this “oh yes, you wish” type of way
Or just view me anything just slightly short of “kid sister” or “one of the guys”
Now that you are informed
Now that you are fully aware
Do as you please
Just don’t get too close
You might contract what I have
And I think I like you just too much
Just to be a buddy
------------------------------------------------------
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